Transracial family » Four Against Two

Stupid Things People Say And Fair Pictures

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Family, Just Plain Funny Stuff, Moments with Elle, Moments with Enu, Moments With Meg, Moments with Mita 3 Responses »

Aug 142012

We all say dumb things sometimes, me especially. I am pretty forgiving and have a good sense of humor so don’t worry about offending me for the most part. Yesterday, however, the Avon lady at the fair said something so stupid that the kids insisted I blog about it. So, here it goes.

(Walking up to the Avon booth to look at the chapsticks with all four girls.)

Avon Lady: Wow, you have your hands full!

Me: Everyday

Avon Lady: Are you a daycare?

Me: No, they are all mine. (Really there are only four, and they were behaving so it’s not like we were a walking tornado of twenty kids in matching shirts.)

Avon Lady: Are you trying for a boy?

Me: No, we are done.

Walking away as fast as possible I ask the girls if we should try for a brother….they all started laughing and saying things like ” I can’t believe she said that.” “Blog about this mom” and then Enu of course ” I want a baby brother!”.

I was happy that no one was overly sensitive or mad, it just rolled off them and was a funny family moment. When I told Hubbylater, he told me I should have told her we were trying for a tan kid but kept getting black or white.

When telling people I have four girls I often hear the “trying for a boy” thing, but only when they cannot see the girls. I also hear the daycare thing, especially if there are cousins or friends with us making us a bigger group. I have never heard the two at the same time though when the kids are present and visible.

I just have to laugh.

Meg printed off her blog and made a pillow and a bag from old T shirts. Three blue ribbons!

Enu made a bag from a T shirt and made a poster about making Puppy Chow (Chex mix) snacks for the animal shelter. She also made a pillow. Three blue ribbons.

Elle made a bag and a pillow for two blue ribbons!

Black Is Brown As White Is Peach

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Family, Parenting 2 Responses »

Dec 082011

Enu and Hubby at a Father-Daughter Dance in 2009

We are a trans-racial adoptive family. While I tend to forget this at times, Mita and Enu never have that luxury. From the get go the girls have always said brown and peach so that is what we say. One of the first days Enu rode home on the school bus she asked me why a boy was calling her black when she wasn’t black she was brown. I had to explain to her that the work black was used to describe people with all different shades of brown. She was puzzled.

The other morning I heard this conversation from another room (remember I have librarian ears).

Elle: Does white mean peach?

Mita: Yes, like brown means black.

Elle: Oh, so you used to be black and now you are brown?

Enu: Elle, let’s just forget this conversation. (She doesn’t say this mean, she just doesn’t want to talk about it.)

So, Elle – who doesn’t remember life without her colorful family, is now realizing that we are seen as different and Mita and Enu – who cannot help put constantly be reminded that they are different.

And then there is my nephew. Nine months younger than Elle, he was about two when we brought the girls home. I guess no one ever talked to him about the adoption and so, much like Elle it has always been this way. A few weeks ago his mom was reading him a story and Ethiopia was mentioned.

She said something like “Remember that is where Mita and Enu are from.”

Nephew: “No, they are from Uncle Hubby and Aunt Mandy.”

Mom: “Uncle Hubby and Aunt Mandy adopted them from Ethiopia.”

Nephew: “They are adopted?”

He then proceeds to inform others in our family that Mita and Enu are adopted. Over Thanksgiving he lets Elle know that her sisters are adopted. Elle of course knows this, but nephew is having a hard time getting it.

We are laughing, not at him but more at his refreshing point of view on life. He didn’t see the color differences.

I later told Mita and Enu this story. They had the sweetest smiles and laughter. Mita tells me, “I love that boy!”. They were so pleased.

While I believe in celebrating diversity and cultures and not in being colorblind, I cannot help but dream that everyone would just see my Ethiopian girls as girls and not brown/black girls. Just as Meg and Elle are not seen as white/peach girls, just girls.

I wonder if I will be writing similar post decades from now about my grandchildren?