This past week a story out of Philadelphia disturbed me. You probably heard it on the news about the kids from a day camp being kicked out of a private swim club. Of course there are two sides of the story or it wouldn’t be news would it? The day camp mentions that there were many racists comments made and that is why they were asked to leave and the swim club because there was not enough room to accommodate all the kids.
Honestly, I know that people use poor wording at times. I am known to put my foot in my mouth often and really try and think before I speak. I also know that race and racism are sensitive subjects (two of my kids are Ethiopian remember). As I still have some optimism in me I will take this story apart and encourage readers to think about some of my points so they will not bumble into a situation like this.
#1 The swim club director said that they were unaware of not being able to handle the numbers of kids. Most places have fire codes and numbers that are posted to remind people in charge. This director should be aware of the numbers before he agrees for groups to come and swim.
#2 When issuing a public statement for an organization it would be wise to have someone read that statement and possible give constructive criticism. Maybe a board member or an attorney? If you did not hear the comment it was, “There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club.” Not a great choice of words. I wonder if the word complexion is used often in that part of the country? I know I don’t hear a lot of people in this part of Ohio saying the word unless they are talking about skin.
#3 Sometimes it just better to STOP talking. In his apology statement he kept using the term, “these children” over and over. “Most of these children, cannot swim” “These children from the inner city.” It was painful to hear and I just kept yelling at the TV for him to stop talking!
All of these statements in themselves could just be poor word choice as I mentioned or it could be blatant racism. I am confident (that optimism again!) that it will be taken care of and if changes need to be made they will be.
What scares me dearly and makes me worried about the world I’m bringing my kids up in isn’t this story necessarily. It is the comments to the story that people took the time to write. If you do not believe that racism exists you need to read the comments. Some of the words are from such a deep seeded long ago time that I don’t even remember reading them when learning about American black history. I had to take a moment to realize what they were saying. The cruelty, fear and anger were so apparent for both “sides”. It astounds me that computer literate people in 2009 think this way. It would be easier to think that the hate that exists is in an older generation and that in time it will be gone. WRONG! People pass hate to each-other as easily as they pass down love.
Fear of the unknown brings rage and encourages racism. If the comments that people quoted saying at the pool are true this demonstrates fear and ignorance. Saying “I hope they don’t hurt my children.” when black children walk into the pool area says a lot about what is going through a mother’s mind.
Some of you may wonder if we have experienced racism since bringing the girls home. We have. Nothing to make the news or call the ACLU about, things that we use as teaching moments for our family and things that we have made changes. When the girls were told on the bus, “You are brown because you eat poop.” The girls no longer rode the bus. The school was told, things were done promptly and we got an apology letter from the child, but the bus is such a poorly supervised time for kids and we thought it best to take it out of the equation.
We have also gotten poorly asked questions and statements, “Are they twins.” “Isn’t there hair horrible.” and people wanting to “pet” there skin and hair like they are on for display. I had a lady at Wal-mart tell Enu in a very loud voice,” You need to learn to speak American now.” I frostily told her that my daughter was doing wonderful at learning ENGLISH and that we were very proud of her.” Enu looked at the lady with a puzzled look as if to ask, “What’s wrong with this lady.” and then she ducked to get away from the hand that was about to pet her.
The worst was, “I cannot tell them apart.” from a person who had been around them for several months and did not bother to notice that beside their skin, eye color and hair color they look nothing alike. Different noses and mouths and eye shapes. Personalities are totally opposite and Mita is taller than Enu and in a different grade with different teachers. This person actually called me one day and told me the wrong daughter was ill. It showed that she couldn’t get passed the skin color to see my kids. If you are thinking I’m to harsh on her you must know that she is a school employee and knows the names of almost all the kids who have gone through that school for the last ten years. Am I still polite to this women? Yes. Do I have the same respect for her I had previously? No. Have I pointed out the differences in the girls to help her get the hint that I didn’t want to hear about “how confusing they were” again. Yes and I haven’t heard her moan about it since.
I think we should all think before we speak, filter what we hear and love each-other as God loves us all. Learn about what you do not know and the fear will go away. Don’t let a knee-jerk reaction determine your integrity as a person. Don’t deny that there are racism issues in our wonderful country because you do not experience them.
I would love to hear thoughts you have about this post!
