Race » Four Against Two

Go Gabby Go!

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Sports No Responses »

Aug 032012

We were so excited to watch Gabby Douglas win the gold the other night for the gymnastics all-around. In fact the younger girls are watching it right now, as I had to send them to bed.

As I watched it I wondered a few things. Is Gabby’s hair permanently straightened or does she iron it straight. I also wondered if she would be the first African-American to win the all-around gold. The commentators didn’t mention the fact that she was black. It didn’t bother me, it was actually refreshing that race wasn’t the topic of discussion, the sport was. Of course while watching I spent more time amazing and wowed by her skill and talent. She flies effortlessly. She is a super star.

Hitting the blogosphere early this morning (I actually have nowhere to go today!) the world is full of congrats for Gabby as it should be. A NPR blog caught my eye. Apparently there is an uproar in some of the black community that her hair isn’t as it should be. I think her hair looked great for an athlete who has to have it out-of-the-way. I would love it if she unleashed it and showed some beautiful curls after the olympics is over so my girls can see how awesome curls are. If she doesn’t, however, I will not think less of her. Reading the comments to said article some people were incredulous that people where talking hair. I wasn’t surprised. Hair is always discussed in the black community. Of course I am not really apart of that community, I’m more on the fringe trying to make it easier on Mita and Enu to be apart of that community while being raised in a primarily white family in a primarily white community.

There was also a few comments on the fact that race wasn’t being mentioned at all. Some were mad about it and some were happy. Others were wondering about what the big deal is. Here is the thing. When you are apart of a minority community, there is not only pride (just like in majority communities) there is as need to really represent, to make an impact to show how awesome your community is. This is not a bad thing, it just is. Personally I was happy that every other word wasn’t about Gabby being black, but I did make sure my kids knew of her achievement for the black community. It is important for all of our kids to know when history is being made. It is inspiring. It is history.

All of that to say, we are so pleased for Gabby Douglas and her family. She is talented. She is strong. She is beautiful and full of life with a smile that rocks the world. Whatever her hair style, whatever her race she is champion!

Black Is Brown As White Is Peach

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Family, Parenting 2 Responses »

Dec 082011

Enu and Hubby at a Father-Daughter Dance in 2009

We are a trans-racial adoptive family. While I tend to forget this at times, Mita and Enu never have that luxury. From the get go the girls have always said brown and peach so that is what we say. One of the first days Enu rode home on the school bus she asked me why a boy was calling her black when she wasn’t black she was brown. I had to explain to her that the work black was used to describe people with all different shades of brown. She was puzzled.

The other morning I heard this conversation from another room (remember I have librarian ears).

Elle: Does white mean peach?

Mita: Yes, like brown means black.

Elle: Oh, so you used to be black and now you are brown?

Enu: Elle, let’s just forget this conversation. (She doesn’t say this mean, she just doesn’t want to talk about it.)

So, Elle – who doesn’t remember life without her colorful family, is now realizing that we are seen as different and Mita and Enu – who cannot help put constantly be reminded that they are different.

And then there is my nephew. Nine months younger than Elle, he was about two when we brought the girls home. I guess no one ever talked to him about the adoption and so, much like Elle it has always been this way. A few weeks ago his mom was reading him a story and Ethiopia was mentioned.

She said something like “Remember that is where Mita and Enu are from.”

Nephew: “No, they are from Uncle Hubby and Aunt Mandy.”

Mom: “Uncle Hubby and Aunt Mandy adopted them from Ethiopia.”

Nephew: “They are adopted?”

He then proceeds to inform others in our family that Mita and Enu are adopted. Over Thanksgiving he lets Elle know that her sisters are adopted. Elle of course knows this, but nephew is having a hard time getting it.

We are laughing, not at him but more at his refreshing point of view on life. He didn’t see the color differences.

I later told Mita and Enu this story. They had the sweetest smiles and laughter. Mita tells me, “I love that boy!”. They were so pleased.

While I believe in celebrating diversity and cultures and not in being colorblind, I cannot help but dream that everyone would just see my Ethiopian girls as girls and not brown/black girls. Just as Meg and Elle are not seen as white/peach girls, just girls.

I wonder if I will be writing similar post decades from now about my grandchildren?