I had a unique discussion the other day with a friend from Nigeria. She is an International Student at our local University and we have her over often to give her some family environment. The girls love showing off for her and teaching her American things like Mario Cart!
I asked her about her Christmas customs in Nigeria and what she thought of American Christmases. The American gift giving is astonishing to her. Her family does not exchange gifts with each other and this is the normal for her country. Christmas cards are also not the normal custom for her, but she has seen them before. They very much celebrate Christmas though.
That got me thinking about how our Christmas might be like with no gift giving. It is so ingrained in our culture to give gifts for Christmas that it would seem a bit empty, especially with the kids. Could we celebrate without gifts? Would we be able to maintain the holiday feelings and excitement without the boxes and bags?
Hubby and I will forgo gifts at times when money is tight or if we have recently made a big purchase. It still feels like Christmas when that happens. With my Dad out of work I have told my parents to forget about my gifts. I don’t think they did, but it would still seem like Christmas if they did as I requested. Of course I am an adult.
As a child I was aware that our Christmases were sparse compared to my friends. I can honestly say that I didn’t mind, except that I knew my mom felt bad because of it. If anything, the lighter Christmases made me a better person. I am now walking that fine line of wanting my kids to have fun things and not wanting to train them to be materialistic. Sometimes I think I am doing okay on this and sometimes I fail miserably.
I have often hoped that as the girls get older that we will do more with family projects in helping others and that they will understand that your truly do get more out of giving than receiving. It, like most lessons, cannot be taught but modeled and realized. I would love for them to give gifts of service rather than gifts of plastic. This year our spare change collected from the year went to UNICEF to help the families in East Africa and we made Christmas cards for children in the hospital. Activities that I hope taught them the importance of giving as well as made them feel good about themselves.
I have also noted in the last few years that they are very giving to others. Our tree has many, many gifts under it and they are all from the girls to other people. Some are homemade, others purchased or gently handed down but all are from the girls with no mommy-money supplemented. This makes my heart swell with love that they love giving this much.
Christmas gifts can tell us we are loved and cared for. Being able to give gifts to those we love makes us feel joyful. Not being able to provide gifts can make us feel desperate and useless. Presents are not villains of course, as they do teach us the art of giving, but they are not the reason for Christmas either. While I admire and sometimes wish our Christmas culture was more like Nigeria’s, it is a fact that Christmas gifts are apart of our culture’s tradition and that it is here to stay. Balance is the key and I think that if our hearts are sincere we will maintain the true Christmas meaning of Christ being born.
How have you come to terms with Christmas gifts? Are they super important to your family or could you have a gift-less Christmas and be like the Whos in Whoville?
Hubby and I don’t always do gifts. During lean years or times when we don’t need or want anything we may forgo Christmas gifts, birthday gifts and anniversary presents. Other times we go all out. This Valentines day I gave Hubby a six pack of Sam Adams. It may seem silly, but he liked it so much more than a card and cologne! He spent the entire weekend re-doing my KITCHEN! 
