Adoption » Four Against Two

Adoption and School Projects

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Ethiopia, Family, Family Pictures, Moments with Enu, Parenting 3 Responses »

Jan 262012

Enu came home yesterday all excited about the time line project assigned to her class. She has to have at least 3 pictures and 5 events on her timeline including birth and present day.

I honestly don’t remember Mita doing this assignment last year, but I do remember Meg doing it. This makes me wonder if it was assigned to Mita and she didn’t make a big deal about it or if she kept the assignment on the down-low because it was a big deal to her. Hmm. I must go through the projects I kept from last year and see if I can find it.

Back to yesterday. I told Enu that I would have to get on the computer and order prints as we are a digital family and I rarely have extra prints hanging around. We discussed what pictures she wanted and what her events on the time line were going to be:

1- Birth in Ethiopia – She wanted a baby picture of her and her dad that we have.

2- Mom dying when she was 3.

So when she mentioned this I gently said,”Honey, if you put this down people are going to ask you about it.” She shrugged and said that it was fine.

3- Adoption and movie to the USA.

4- Disneyworld for the first time.

5- Being at 4th grader.

I am planning on supporting her wishes, but I am also going to have a back up picture in case she changes her mind at the last-minute. I will also let her teacher know what is coming so she isn’t put on the spot.

I applaud her for being truthful and authentic in her project. I admire her strength for acknowledging what she has done through. I am so worried that this may trigger something and she will have a bad experience at school. I’m running this by Hubby to see what he thinks.

I think this will also be a lesson-learner for the other kids in the class. Not everyone has an all-happy timeline to share, even 9 year olds. That said I hate that my children seem to be the models for adoption and diversity at school as that is a lot of pressure on a kid. If anyone out there has traveled this path I would love some advice!

Book Review: No Biking In The House Without A Helmet

Adoption, Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews No Responses »

Jan 102012

After participating in last year’s Adoption Reading Challenge, I was delighted to know that Jenna is hosting one for 2012 as well! I knew immediately that my first adoption themed book would be No Biking in the House Without A Helmet by Melissa Fay Greene. I have been wanting to read this book since I heard it came out, I just needed a kick in the pants to get started.

Before I start with my review I have to tell you that Melissa Fay Greene is a part of my adoption story. It was her article in Good Housekeeping that I read sometime in 2004 (while pregnant with Elle) that I fell in love with Ethiopia and got my dormant adoption feelings going again. It was also her book There Is No Me Without You that tugged at our hearts so dearly when we were doing the paper chase in 2006 and 2007. It must be said that in tough times she has been blamed for this! After reading her newest book, I know she doesn’t think ill of us for those blaming thoughts. No Biking In The House provides some back story to my situation. We used the same agency, so reading about Layla House and AAI, well it’s like reading a prequel.

Greene does a nice job in combining this biography of how her family of eleven came to be with anecdotes of daily life with her children. As a fellow mom who adopted after having biological kids and who twinned two of her kids, I could really relate in some of her stories, thoughts and fears.

This book is a must read for large families and adoptive families and for families who dream of becoming large and adoptive. All mothers can relate to this story just with the hilarity that motherhood can be at times. I loved reading how her bio kids and adoptive kids became closer, how she maintained her Ethiopian children’s heritage and languages and found the biological mother for her Bulgarian son. She bulks against have a group home effect, and in that I can totally relate. There have been times that I feel I am the maid in a bed and breakfast. Families have to work at being families sometimes, and that is okay. She gets International Adoption for what it is. Not a solution for poverty, but a way to build a family for parents who want to parent a child who has no family that can care for them.

The feelings that ran through me while reading No Biking In The House Without A Helmet, ranged from sadness, joy and knowing to jealously. Yes, I said Jealously. When reading about Helen’s disobedience over a can of Coke and how it led to an hour-long holding her violent little body I could wholeheartedly relate. I’ve been there, many, many times. When she ended that story with “That was the only tantrum we ever had out of Helen.” I was envious. One time! I’ve been spit on, bitten, kicked, pinched and hit so many times that we do not do the “holding therapy” anymore. They are just to big. Her bout with post-adoption depression resonated in me as well. It’s not all roses and rainbows, those first few months.

I am also acutely aware that we do not live in a diverse, metro area as she does in Atlanta. She was able to hire an Ethiopian babysitter who spoke Amharic to her kids and could make Ethiopian food. Her town also offers many different schooling and recreation opportunities that my rural town doesn’t offer. I wonder how my lack of access to these things have effected my girls and if that could have made the difference with some of our issues.

Melissa Fay Greene has written a thoughtful, funny and lovely book that speaks of the truths of adoption while not being to heavy of a read. Go and read this book and laugh out-loud!