As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have an almost 13-year-old that is bringing the whole social media thing and her use of it to my forefront.  I  have several ideas running through my head on how to approach this, but I still have time.  I don’t think I am in denial, I just like to procrastinate. Ask Hubby if you don’t believe me.

Meg (said almost thirteen year old) has a blog. She started it not quite a year ago and reviews books, movies and a few random posts. She is an obsessive reader, likes to write and is currently writing her first novel, which I find amazing, I know I am a her mom, but it is amazing.  From time to time though she gets writers block and for some reason thinks it is my responsibility to help her through it.  This conversation just happened this morning:

Meg:  Mom, I don’t know what to write for my next blog. Tell me what to write. (Read in a whiny voice).

Mom: Write about Earth Day, write about your Silver Award project.

Meg:  I’ve tried and I cannot. I’ve tried and tried.

Mom:  Just start writing and throw out your first paragraph, a lot of writers do that.

Meg: I can’t, tell me what to write! (whiney voice is louder and more annoying)

Mom: (Watching a TV commercial about cars) Write about how you feel when you start daddy’s car in the morning. It could be a good father’s day gift for him.

Meg:  (Silence)

Mom:  (….ah silence)

This is what she came up with When I Start The Car.  I think she did a great job sharing her emotions and I am very happy that I was able to help her out for once. Maybe now she’ll listen to me sooner, but I doubt it.

 It is times like these that make me think she may be ready to dip her toe in the tumultuous ocean of social media.  Not because writing a good blog makes you savvy to the ways of Facebook, but because she has demonstrated that she can share her feelings effectively to the world (or me).  She writes, she proofreads, she edits. 

She recently sent a text that hurt her friend’s feelings. We were able to talk about how texting and emails don’t show the emotions that your voice does.  You cannot say somethings with a text. It’s just not done. A painful lesson, but on a smaller scale thankfully.  I cannot help but mourn for the girls who have texted much worse to people such as inappropriate pictures.  Our children have the whole world in their hands, literally. The power they have is daunting, yet we seem to let them treat it way too lightly.

To many I may be over thinking the social media thing. I may seem obsessive or over-protective with my kids. I cannot help but be careful with my girls though.  Social media is the way of the world.  Bosses are checking your Facebook page.  Colleges are tracking your movements.  Your social media footprint follows you much like your credit score, and  you have to protect it.  On top of that you have crazy people trying to meet with your children in hotel rooms (we have one of those down the street).

 I hope when Meg clicks post on Facebook she looks at her post not as a brief update on what she is doing after school, but as a little piece of her that she is sharing with the world. I hope she can look at it objectively and think “Does the world need to know this about me?” “Is this a safe thing to share?” “Would I share this with a stadium full of people?”  “Is this fair to other people?” “Will it hurt someone’s feelings?”  That is a lot of questions to go through someone’s mind, but with time and practice I think we can learn to take a double  look at our contributions to the world. Even if they are only 140 characters or a pin.

 

 

I must tell you that the knee-jerk reaction I have when I think of my kids joining social media is no, absolutely not, never and lets just not even go there.  Why do I feel this way?  Well, it is just one more thing to monitor for one, and I just don’t need anything else to my list to check on.  My daughters also see their friends five days a week if not more, so  they are not lacking socialization.

My oldest daughter, Meg, does think it is somwhere she needs to go. Hmm. Now I have to do that parenting thing and not the dictatorship thing that comes to naturally and makes my life that much more easy.  Meg will be the magic 13 this October and is already being strategic about getting onto Facebook as 13 is the legal age to have a Facebook account.  I will repeat, Facebook allows you to have an account when you are 13. I repeated that because many parents don’t know this or don’t care about this rule.  I recently learned that everyday Facebook kicks off around 100,000 underage kids.  It irritates me that parents allow and encourage their kids to break the rules.  Go ahead, teach your kids that rules don’t apply to them, we need more entitled kids in this world (sarcasm).

I have noticed that many of Meg’s friends are on Facebook (underage) and even have open to the public accounts. Not even the basics of safety have been undertaken.  That scares me.  Are we just ignorant as a society or in total denial that bad things can happen to our children?

Okay, back to my own house. I know  my kids will be exposed to social media at some point,  Actually they are already on Yoursphere network.  I love Yoursphere and have tried to get Meg’s friends on it so they can talk and be social online together in a safe place, but it didn’t take. The kids were already on Facebook.  I even recommended it to the middle school principle and PTO as a fundraiser and a solution to the social media problem at the school.  No go.  This at a school that at the orientation spent the majority of the time talking about “mean girls” and social media problems that they were having with behavior.

At a recent Girl Scout event they offered a Hip Pop session for parents/leaders covering social media basics.  The one thing I really took away is that we want our kids to be innovators of social media/computer not just consumers.  Meaning we want our kids to learn and create things not just stare at a screen. He suggested that we get our kids blogging, making movies, even writing apps.  I was pleased that Meg already fits in this category with her blog.

To sum up this all over the place post, I am working towards a plan to raise media savy kids who are productive in our techy climate.  I will share my plans and ask many questions on this quest.

I have a headache already. Why can’t they just stay little and be happy with a few places?

 

Don’t forget to enter my St. Patrick’s Day giveaway! Ends March 11, 2012

 

This post will be 2G2B4G, I promise!

Yes, we have another topic to cover in order to parent our kids correctly.  Not only are we having to talk about sex, alcohol and drugs, but we must talk about sexting and texting while driving.  The check list just keeps getting longer. The good news is that we no longer have to talk to our kids about pulling out the ribbons on cassette tapes or wasting film by opening up the backs of camera.

Let’s look at some statistics shall we:

  •  45% of teens admit to texting and driving but only 4 percent of parents believe their teens have ever texted while driving. (LG Stats)
  • Drivers who type or read text messages contribute to at least 100,000 crashes each year, leading to thousands of preventable deaths. (FocusDriven.org)

Numbers don’t lie and we mustn’t lie to ourselves.   Our kids learn best by example. We have to make sure we are not texting while driving and using our cell phones carefully when we are behind the wheel.  We can tell them a million times not to text and drive, but if they see us do it: Our words don’t mean anything!

In San Diego , MomOutnumbered and I got to go to a fun cocktail party hosted by LG with spokesperson Jane Lynch.  On top of being a party with amazing food and drinks, we got the 411 (do kids still say that?) on texting and driving as well as what some of the letters that our kids use frequently mean.  4COL I learned a lot.  The LG site  is not only a great resource on texting and driving but it goes into sexting, bullying and also on how we as parents can use the texting technology to help us in our parenting. It is an easy site to navigate and is worth a few minutes to read I promise!

MomOutnumbered

On a personal note: Jane autographed a picture for Mita and read the letter Mita had written her and given to me to give to Jane. (Mita is in love with Jane, I don’t know why, I don’t let her watch Glee  (story lines are a bit racey for an eleven year old) but Mita is celebrity obsessed so…) Mita is head over heels happy and I thank Jane for being so kind, I almost WMPL I was so happy.

So, tell the truth. Do you still text and drive?  Have your kids called me on it?  Mita has insisted she saw me do it once, I don’t remember honestly, but never again!

2G2B4G = To good to be forgotten

4COL = For crying out loud

WMPL = Wet my pants laughing

 

(Disclosure:  I was not asked to write about LG or this event, but the subject matter is important for all of us and I was happy to share what I had learned. I did not receive any compensation for this post, but the party really did have great coconut shrimp!)

 

 

 

 

602535_seatbeltI am a safety nut.   I love all things prevention, I admit it.  I also have to admit that while I have the best intentions of fulfilling all safety laws without a fuss, my children have a different approach.

Ohio’s Child Passenger Safety Law went to effect on October 7th.  This means all children under 8 years have to be in a car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall.  This law passed a few months ago and we have been using a booster for Enu since I heard about it and she is not happy.  She has gone from never wearing a seat belt (Ethiopia) to having to wear a seat belt (too tight mom) and now a booster.  She is 7 years old and boosters are so uncool you know!  Thankfully I compared the law with her recent Dr. appointment measurements and she is now allowed to be booster seat free according to the state of Ohio (by 1 inch!).  You can just hear my sigh of relief through these words I ‘m sure.

As much as I love safety, I hate conflict every-time we get into the car.  So now three of my four kids can just wear a regular car seat (joy!!!!!!).

Then there is Elle.  My runt. My little girl who hates anything remotely tight or snug.  My little 35 pound almost five year old that will have to be in a booster until she is 10 I’m sure.  All I can do is pray and try not to get to angry as she pulls and screams at the booster’s belts.

I have tried everything I can think of to help with this dastardly dance. I have pulled over and secured her seat. I have used strong Velcro to get her belts on better, I have taken away TV privileges.  I have plead, bribed and bargained. Her Grammy has promised her a DS if she stops the crying.  I have also ignored her, actually that is what I usually do. So if you see me looking serene behind the wheel of my car and then see Elle bright red with her mouth wide open, don’t think I’m heartless. I have just gone to my happy place where Elle is 40 pounds, four foot nine and is in a regular seat-belt.

I would love to hear what has worked for you and you family in regards to car seats and seat belts!

Photo Credit

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