Reading Challenge » Four Against Two

Keep Your Children Reading This Summer!

A Mom's Job, Education, Parenting, Reading Challenge, Summer Fun No Responses »

May 022012

If you ever look at my blog, you know that I am a reader. I love to read. I could read all day. I have to stop myself from reading to actively participate in the real world. My mom used to make me put down my books and play outside. I’m addicted, it’s just a legal drug and is generally a good thing to be addicted to!

Seeing a parent read is the best way to raise readers. I truly believe that. I also accept that not everyone is going to be as crazy about books as I am. But I will try to convert you I promise.

Summer time at our house is a great time. We are either crazy-busy or crazy-lazy. For the crazy-lazy times it can be challenging to keep the media to a low-roar. In our house media is TV, computer or non-active Wii games. For the last two years I have used media-bucks to keep the kids on limited screen time and to keep them reading. Last year I had yard sales at the end of the month where the girls could buy fun stuff with media bucks if they saved them. This is great because they are earning the media bucks, but not using them on TV! I also had a read-so-many-minutes over the summer you get a book series. All the girls earned great book series. Meg got the entire 39 Clues series, Mita got The Hunger Games Trilogy, Enu got a huge Junie B. Jones series and Elle got… I cannot remember, I thinks she just chose a few books instead of a series.

While I was happy with last year’s success, I am ramping it up a bit. This year I am doing a stamp card. This way they hopefully don’t loose it the way they could the media bucks. Here is how it goes:

1 Media Stamp = 30 minutes of media time

Level 1 books = 1 media stamp for 30 minutes of reading

(age level books the kids like to read)

Level 2 books = 2 media stamps for 30 minutes of reading

(Book that push them to read at a higher level)

Level 3 books= 3 media stamps for 30 minutes of reading

(any non-fiction reading, classic or a book that Mom would like you to read)

Learning Lab = 3 media stamps

( A workbook or experiment.)

Active outdoor play for 30 minutes= 1 media stamp

You can see where I am going with Level 3. Meg doesn’t want to read the classics right now, but I am bound and determined to get some Little Women in her this summer! This should all equal to plenty of TV time as well as great reading time and some fun prizes. This year I am doing gift cards to Amazon, Barnes and Noble and iTunes instead of a yard sale. The kids are stoked!

This may seem like a lot of work, but for my family it is how we function. We have to have clear, set guidelines or it is chaos around here.

We also do the Summer Reading at our local library. This is a family favorite, but as the kids get older I really push content over how many books are read. I try to get the girls to set a content goal over a number goal, like “I will read 20 books this summer, 10 of them chapter books, 2 of them classics and 8 off them non-fiction.”

Scholastic has a great summer reading site that you should check out. We did this last summer and the kids had a lot of fun on it. It is a fun way for them to keep track of how much they read. It also lead to a great discussion on honestly and integrity when one of my girls cooked the numbers a bit! Click here for a video tutorial on how it works. They also have great book lists for all ages.

If you want to keep your kids reading this summer the first thing you should do is pick up a book and read it yourself, let the kids see you read and talk about what a great book it is. Then take them to the library!

Book Review: When The Black Girl Sings

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Books I Have Read, Family, Reading Challenge No Responses »

Jan 242012

The second book I choose to read for the 2012 Adoption Book Challenge is a fiction one titled,When the Black Girl Sings, written by Bil Wright, published in 2008 for young adults and picked as a Junior Library Guild Selection.

I hope that Mita and Meg will read this book as it speaks to their age and I think Mita can identify with the main character, Lahni. Of course I can not push it on them to forcefully or it will come right back. The joys of having twelve year old girls!

A quick plot review: Lahni is a tranracially adopted, only child who is fourteen years old. Her parents are white and she goes to an elite private school where she is the only student of color. It seems her main goal in life is to not be noticed and she ends up being put in the spotlight without her asking to be. Along the way she deals with divorcing parents, an older boy who is threatening, dealing with normal school issues and trying to find her voice. She also developed some new relationships with adult African Americans and this makes a big impact on her.

As a mother to two trans-racially adopted children there were a few parts of the book that made me feel triumphant, as I am a much more open and affectionate mother than Lahni’s mom. Here are a couple of lines where I felt this:

“Do you think I have a decent voice?”

“Of course I do. God knows where you get it from. Certainly not your father or me.”

How could she be saying this. It is not as though she knows more than I do if my real mother or father were good singers. But it was something my mom always did. Speak as though were were really one family, instead of me being apart of someone else’s.

The family dynamics demonstrated in the book showed that Lahni was very loved by her parents, but that they were distant enough to Lahni to sometimes think that they thought the adoption was a mistake. While reading the book I would get irritated at some of the interactions of the family, but I do acknowledge that her younger memories show a happier, close knit family. The strain of the divorce and Lahni becoming a teenager may be a couple of factors for the emptiness felt in this family. You can see both parents struggling and so can Lahni.

I have to wonder though, if the author is showing his experience or lack of experience with trans-racial adoption in this story, or if in fact this is just how he envisioned the story. I would love to talk to him and ask him. I hope that people don’t assume that trans-racial adoption, or any type adoption at all for that matter produces lack-luster affection in families or families who don’t address and celebrate their differences.

Any thoughts on this book if you have read it? I really enjoyed it. I even sat in a Sears parking lot today reading it, because it was driving me nuts having it in my purse while I was running errands and I couldn’t finish it! I love it when a book gets into me that way.

(Disclaimer: I was not asked to read or review this book, I just wanted to for participation in the 2012 Adoption Reading Challenge hosted by Jenna. Links are Amazon Affiliates.)

Book Review: No Biking In The House Without A Helmet

Adoption, Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews No Responses »

Jan 102012

After participating in last year’s Adoption Reading Challenge, I was delighted to know that Jenna is hosting one for 2012 as well! I knew immediately that my first adoption themed book would be No Biking in the House Without A Helmet by Melissa Fay Greene. I have been wanting to read this book since I heard it came out, I just needed a kick in the pants to get started.

Before I start with my review I have to tell you that Melissa Fay Greene is a part of my adoption story. It was her article in Good Housekeeping that I read sometime in 2004 (while pregnant with Elle) that I fell in love with Ethiopia and got my dormant adoption feelings going again. It was also her book There Is No Me Without You that tugged at our hearts so dearly when we were doing the paper chase in 2006 and 2007. It must be said that in tough times she has been blamed for this! After reading her newest book, I know she doesn’t think ill of us for those blaming thoughts. No Biking In The House provides some back story to my situation. We used the same agency, so reading about Layla House and AAI, well it’s like reading a prequel.

Greene does a nice job in combining this biography of how her family of eleven came to be with anecdotes of daily life with her children. As a fellow mom who adopted after having biological kids and who twinned two of her kids, I could really relate in some of her stories, thoughts and fears.

This book is a must read for large families and adoptive families and for families who dream of becoming large and adoptive. All mothers can relate to this story just with the hilarity that motherhood can be at times. I loved reading how her bio kids and adoptive kids became closer, how she maintained her Ethiopian children’s heritage and languages and found the biological mother for her Bulgarian son. She bulks against have a group home effect, and in that I can totally relate. There have been times that I feel I am the maid in a bed and breakfast. Families have to work at being families sometimes, and that is okay. She gets International Adoption for what it is. Not a solution for poverty, but a way to build a family for parents who want to parent a child who has no family that can care for them.

The feelings that ran through me while reading No Biking In The House Without A Helmet, ranged from sadness, joy and knowing to jealously. Yes, I said Jealously. When reading about Helen’s disobedience over a can of Coke and how it led to an hour-long holding her violent little body I could wholeheartedly relate. I’ve been there, many, many times. When she ended that story with “That was the only tantrum we ever had out of Helen.” I was envious. One time! I’ve been spit on, bitten, kicked, pinched and hit so many times that we do not do the “holding therapy” anymore. They are just to big. Her bout with post-adoption depression resonated in me as well. It’s not all roses and rainbows, those first few months.

I am also acutely aware that we do not live in a diverse, metro area as she does in Atlanta. She was able to hire an Ethiopian babysitter who spoke Amharic to her kids and could make Ethiopian food. Her town also offers many different schooling and recreation opportunities that my rural town doesn’t offer. I wonder how my lack of access to these things have effected my girls and if that could have made the difference with some of our issues.

Melissa Fay Greene has written a thoughtful, funny and lovely book that speaks of the truths of adoption while not being to heavy of a read. Go and read this book and laugh out-loud!

Reading in 2012

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge 1 Response »

Jan 032012

I was very tickled to have completed my three Reading Challenges for 2011. I accomplished my Good Reads goals of 75 book in one year. I actually made it to 81 books! I completed my Goals in Jenna’s Adoption Reading Challenge 2011 as I read six adoption themed books, 3 fiction and 3 non-fiction. I also read my five classics I had wanted to complete.

That was a lot of reading and I enjoyed 98% of it so I look forward to my new goals.

1) Reading 3 adoption themed books at the Adoption Reading Challenge 2012.

2) I wish to keep my reading goal at 75 books at Good Reads this year.

3) I want to explore poetry, a type of writing that I have never spent much time on. I hope to read at least three different poets this year.

4) I would love to do an online book club. I would adore having a in-real-life book club, but with schedules so crazy I don’t think this will be possible for many years!

5) I want to continue to write book reviews on my blog and host more book giveaways.

You may have noticed that my goals are not higher or the same as they were last year. I wanted a more relaxed approach as this year is going to be a busy one! If you have any book suggestions or a Poet you think I should read please let me know.

What are your reading this year?

I Need A Book Suggestion, Or Five

Reading Challenge 3 Responses »

Nov 172011

I have five more books to read until I hit my goal of reading 75 books in 2011! I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it around mid-summer and am now so pleased it is within reach.

As with most goals I have plateaued a bit and need some suggestions on what else to read. I’m looking for light and fuzzy at this points, but will take a challenge if you deem it worth it.

So please give me some suggestions! I beg of you. I’ve gone to the library and nothing seems tempting.

I don’t know if I will make a reading goal for 2012, as my goals for 2011 were lofty. We will see!

Art Credit

Book Suggestions For Kids (And You!)

A Mom's Job, Books I Have Read, Education, Entertainment, Reading Challenge 1 Response »

Sep 292011

I am always up for book suggestions. Last year I met a retired reading teacher and she wrote the names of some authors she thought my then ten-year-old would like. She was so passionate about reading she wrote the suggestions on the back of the event’s program and we talked for a long while. She was not a fan of Harry Potter, but I liked her anyway and quickly requested the suggestions from our library. She was right, they were great books and I will pass them along to you as well as a few others I adore. I cannot mention all the books, but I will try and touch on ones I haven’t written about before.

Preschool/Young Readers

Frog and Toad by Arnold Lobel- You cannot beat these simple stories that stress friendship, kindness as well as having an ease about them that makes reading fun.

Child’s Garden of Verses by Robert Louis Stevenson- Given to Meg when she turned two from her beloved great-grandpa Pap Pap. These verses bring out the adventure of being in a child’s imagination as well as build vocabulary skills with the old time language the book has. Elle is very fond of this book right now.

Tikki Tikki Tembo by Arlene Mosel - I started reading this book to Meg when she was about three years old. She quickly had it memorized and years later can still say his whole name! This is a favorite to read out loud in the class room as well. The illustrations are classic and introduce kids to the Asian culture a bit.

Early Elementary Students

The American Girl books are great (for girls!) as they have adventure, good morals and history in them. I like reading these books with my girls as I can add some historical tidbits and the books promote great discussions. Reading Addy was hard for me as I cried a few times, but those tears lead to great conversations with Meg. Kit made me mad when she hopped the train, but I was able to talk with Meg about listening to parents, making good choices and the like. Mita liked reading about Josephina and Enu enjoyed the Kit books best.

Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown is a fun and easy to read series that has started a phenomenon with the post office! We created our own Flat Stanley that Grandma and Grandpa took with them across the country and took pictures. Talk about inter-active! A great way to mix geography and reading.

Junie B. Jones by Barbara Park is Enu’s favorite. I do enjoy reading about Junie B. and hearing her language miss-haps are great learning tools for Enu. The way her mind works reminds me of another great series Amelia Bedelia by Peggy Parish. I’ve always adored Ameilia Bedelia being read out loud. Funny.

The Little House On The Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder is one of my all-time beloved books. I read them and feel at home. That said, they are wordy and Laura does love to get into her descriptions so if your child gets distracted easy I would pick the easy reader Little House books as the chapters are shortened a bit. Meg never really got into these books as I had hoped, but I think she does appreciate that they mean a lot to me. Meg is my dragon lover when it comes to books and the Prairie doesn’t have enough fire-breathers for her liking!

The Magic TreeHouse by Mary Pope Osborne books are Elle’s favorites. She loves to read about going back into time. I really like the non-fiction reference books the series has as well. This is a fun series to listen to on CD in the car as it takes the kids’ minds of the drive and into history.

Middle School

This is my favorite reading level thus far with my kiddos. Of course you have Harry Potter (a given) but The Hunger Games Trilogy is my new suggestion as well! With a series plot that could turn people off if they don’t read the book and just hear about the story line (a reality TV show that has kids killing each-other, just doesn’t sit well with most of us) I urge parents to read these books so they can help the kids process what they are reading.

Another set of books with a futuristic 1984ish plot is Shadow Children by Margerate Peterson Haddox. Wow. Heavy stuff, but great ways to get us all thinking, discussing and preventing problems in the future. If your child has anxiety issues I would stay away from these books for a while. Enu will not be reading them anytime soon!

I just recently finished The 39 Clues Series. Meg made me read them. I really enjoyed this book set and number 11 made me want more books as the plot is thickening. The story line hold the older kids interest but the books are at an easier reading level for fourth and fifth graders. Fun.

A few more for middle schoolers:

Shakespeare’s Secret and Masterpiece by Elise Broach

Mandy and The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles by Julie Andrews Edwards (yes, the Julie Andrews!)

Obviously I could go on and on…and I will with books I hope my kids will read as they get older but in another post! The selections above may be heavy on the girl side, but I am partial and lacking the experience of raising boys!

I hope you will add some suggestions to my comments so I can get cracking at those books as well.

I Met Two Of My Reading Goals!

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge 2 Responses »

Aug 272011

Goal Met!!!

I am happy to announce that I have met my Reading the Classics Goal of five classics this year and my Adoption Reading Goal of six books (3 fiction and 3 non-fiction)!

The classics I choose to read this year were:

1)Dracula

2)The Great Gatsby

3)Uncle Tom’s Cabin

4)Around the World in Eighty Days

5)Sense and Sensibility

Out of these five I recommend everyone would read would be Uncle Tom’s Cabin with Dracula a close second. I hated The Great Gatsby (sorry lit lovers) and Around the World in Eighty Days bored me a bit, but I do think younger readers would appreciate it more.

Completed!

My choices for the Adoption Reading Challenge were:

1)All The Broken Pieces

2)Adopted:The Ultimate Teen Guide

3)The Girls Who Went Away

4)Betti On A Highwire

5)The Forgotten Garden

6)Love You More

I have to say that the fiction selections won out as my favorites in this challenge, but all of them were well worth the read except for the Teen Guide. I was disappointed with that one. If you have a child ages ten and up I really recommend them reading Betti on A High-wire and for adoptive parents of older children please read All the Broken Pieces.

Now with those goals met, I still have one other reading goal this year. My GoodReads goal of reading 75 books in 2011. This is achievable. We will see!

So how are your reading goals going? I marvel how our reading patterns change through our lifetime. Going from reading all the time as a teen, to only have time to read required reading in college and then the babies come around and you feel like you will never hold a good book again. I am pleased to be in the time of my life where I can read for pleasure again everyday. I am only more pleased that my girls are showing signs of being avid readers.

Please don’t forget to enter my Hallmark card giveaway! Ends 8/29 at noon.

Book Review: Sense and Sensibility

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews 2 Responses »

Aug 262011

Sense and Sensibility I just completed my first Jane Austin book. I must say it feels good to say that as I have been ashamed of not having any of her books before. Why? I have no idea, but it just seems wrong of my to profess being an avid reader and not having read one of her books. I’ve seen a few movies of course, but it is never the same.

It can be stated quite clearly that my reading experience in this book was lovely. How is that for a sentence? Reading this inspires me to be more creative and descriptive in my writing.

For those of you who haven’t read the book (was I the only one?) the story line consists of two sisters and their first experiences in love. The book has all the emotion, despair, misery and happiness a good love story needs. While I had to re-read some sentences over again to understand what was going on, once I got into the rhythm I really enjoyed reading Austin and I will be reading more of her books in the future.

Congratulate me on my accomplishment! This has completed my Classic Reading Goal for 2011!

Book Review: Around The World In 80 Days

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Stuff 2 Responses »

Jul 242011

I recently finished my fourth classic of the year. My goal is to read five classics this year. As I have mentioned before I do this every so often and by the time I am one hundred years old I hope to have somewhat of a good handle on classic books (lofty goals maybe but oh well!).

Around The World in 80 Days by Jules Verne annoyed me. I’m hopeless, I know. It was such a great idea for a book and if I would have read it out loud to my kids, I probably would have enjoyed it more. I just couldn’t get into it on my own. I’m not sure why I felt this way. The main characters have so much potential to be loved, it just didn’t happen with me.

The theme of this book is simple. A boring, but very smart and honorable man is challenged to travel around the world in 80 days. He hires a valet (my favorite character) to accompany him and he rescues a lady along the way who stays with him for the journey. Their travels are aided by his wealth of a money bag he brought on the trip and they go from elephants in India to trains in the wild west. A lot of adventure that should have been fun, but I think after reading about Harry and Voltemort I’m spoiled for normal adventure.

I will encourage my kiddos to read this book. Maybe I’ll see the movie and like it better! I have one more classic to read to meet my 2011 goal. Any ideas? I need some!

(Disclosure: I was not asked to review this book, nor is the link worth anything to me!)

Classic Book Challenge: Uncle Tom’s Cabin

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge No Responses »

Jun 052011

Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin has been on my to read list for a very long time. I started to read it earlier this year and just finished it the other night. It took me a while. Not because it was a long, dry book that I was trying to get through, but because I wanted to give this masterpiece the attention it deserves.

Uncle Tom’s Cabin is an often quoted and talked about piece of work. I also think that many of us take for-granted because we have heard the stories of slavery before. We have seen the movies, been to the museum about the Underground Railroad and feel we have a knowledge of what went on so we don’t read the book.

You have to read the book to know. To feel. To be horrified and saddened. You have to go through the roller coaster of emotions such as shame, regret and humbleness to get just a little piece of the history that wasn’t so long ago.

The story line follows Uncle Tom and his family as they go through the experience of being sold and separated from each other as well as another family from the same plantation. Both story lines go separate ways yet tangle together and meet at the end. This tells us how small the world can be. Stowe’s writing is strong, sentamental and encompassing. I got to know her characters; loving some and hating others.

The greatest impact the book had on me wasn’t just the stories of the slaves, but the stories of the slave owners. The Christians who struggled with tradition and law. Harriet Beecher Stowe was a hero for writing this during the time of slavery, for educating others, shining a light on the wrongdoings of a land.

This book is full of racism. Of terms and descriptions that are hard to stomach. When reading the words please remember what the world was like when the book was written.

This is my third classic book for the year. My goal is 5 so I am getting there! YEAH me.

Have you read Uncle Tom’s Cabin. At what age would you let your kids read it? I’m thinking 7th or 8th grade for a mature reader.

Book Review: Love You More

Adoption, Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews 2 Responses »

May 102011

Author Jennifer Grant contacted me via Twitter and asked if I would read her new book Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter. It is set to be released August 9th of this year. I was so excited to get a sneak peak of a new book written by an another adoptive parent.

I cannot tell you how many times while reading this book I said to myself Yes! My thoughts exactly! When talking about adoption so many resources discuss it either as a child saving event or a sugar coated spiritual journey. I either get nauseous or mad. Grant is real in her writing and feelings, yet authentically spiritual as well. Her and her husband felt God’s calling to adopt but as a way to build a family, not save a child.

She recognizes that the reasons countries are open to International Adoption are political and practical, yet not a solution for the overwhelming problem of parent-less children. Her writing shows respect to the birth families and the birth countries. Love that!

Love You More is also a candid look into motherhood with funny stories of mommy failures (store bought cookies for the school functions, the horror!) and loving stories.

The most important point in the book for me is the reminder that the adoption process/wait/coming home is just the beginning much like the fact that a wedding is just the beginning of a marriage.

A great read for waiting adoptive families. It is an easy read that is a nice break from the heavy reading that we tend to do when in the adoption process. Book mark this to read come August!

Book Review: The Forgotten Garden

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews No Responses »

Apr 182011

I stumbled upon another book to read pertaining to adoption. I didn’t try. I wanted a break, I really did. Yet this book found me. It was recommended by my Hubby’s Aunt through GoodReads.com. If you are not familiar with GoodReads you need to be. It is a great way to find books and keep up with what your friends and family are reading.

My aunt-in-law recommended The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton to me. This is Morton’s second novel and I must go find her first one as this one consumed me. I did not want to finish it I wanted it to go on forever, it was so bewitching. From the first few chapters I considered this a quasi-adoption themed book because it was dealing with abandonment and identity issues. After a while I decided I would not review it as one of my fiction choices for the Adoption Reading Challenge, I didn’t want to look at it through the eyes of an adoptive mom. I just wanted a good read. Well, after time (it is a lengthy book at 549 pages) I realized that though the word adoption does not appear in this book, the themes of it have adoption, (in)fertility, surrogacy and loss are so prominent I couldn’t pretend any longer.

The book spans three generations, actually it goes back a bit farther at times. The bewitching part of the book is that every chapter is at a different time period. It goes from 1907 to 2005 to 1975 and so forth and so on. I must say that the first few chapters this annoyed me. Not because I dislike books written in this way, I was just not in the mood to stay that focused. I soon fell in love with the characters from all generations and fell into hate with a few as well! I recommend this book to anyone who enjoys reading about generations, the ocean, gardens, family secrets and fairy tales. The fairy tales in this book are wondrous.

Okay, a quick plot review without giving away the particulars! Four year old Nell, is found on a ship alone on the coast of Australia. She is raised by a loving family and told when she is an adult about her true origins, at least the little information they had of her origins. This puts Nell in a tale spin that takes decades for her to recover from. Her granddaughter then picks up the tale and goes deeper into her grandma’s history. Through deaths, books, letters and trips to England the pieces fall together making an incredible truth that is heartbreaking as well as amazing. To give away to much would ruin this book for you so I’m keeping mum about most of the twists and turns.

The adoption themes that I dealt while reading this book are heavy. Since Nell’s story begins in 1913 there is a lot of secrecy going on. Current thinking was to give no details about an adopted child’s life before the adoption. While in Nell’s case this was not an adoption in the traditional sense, I still see it as such. Children need to know age-appropriate truths early on. To find out major life details all at once after you have lived your life thinking one way is very traumatic, makes one question who they really are. Being adopted can be difficult enough to handle sometimes, let alone when it is surrounded by secrecy and lies. There is also has a infertility story line as well as a surrogacy-like theme that makes you think deeper on those losses as well.

The book helps you think about these deep topics and yet you are still entertained by the story. I loved the book. It stayed with me for a while and I couldn’t shake it. I have actually gone back to it and read a few things over again. I could easily read it again and pick up on things I had missed before, and I may someday.

I would love to ask the author how she went about writing this out of order time-lined story. Did she write the story chronologically, then split it up afterwords or did the story come to her in the order that the story was published? How difficult, yet fun, to try and keep all the dates and stories straight!

Have you read this book? What were your thoughts? Do you think I was right in deciding this was an adoption themed book? Check out other adoption book reviews at the Reading Challenge Jenna is hosting.

Book Review: Betti On A High Wire

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews No Responses »

Apr 102011

I know I swore off adoption books for a while, but this one came in from the library and being fiction I thought I’d dive into it right away. This is my second fiction book from the Adoption Reading Challenge hosted by Jenna at Chronicles of Munchkinland. This makes four of my six I have pledged to read this year. In other words I am kicking butt in this challenge! Yeah me.

The book is Betti On a High Wire written by Lisa Railsback. It is classified as a Young Readers book and I agree. First an overview of the story:

Babo is around ten years old and is living in an unnamed war-torn country. She is the eldest of a group of orphans who are all stained from the effects of the local violence. Some have missing arms, legs and fingers others have mental deficits. The author’s descriptions of the kids, the old circus camp they live in and the surrounding area is rich in detail, but leaves you room to imagine as well. Babo is adopted by an American family with one other daughter (younger than Babo) and comes to the states with another one of the group, a younger boy George. George is in love with his new home and family and Babo (who’s name is changed to Betti) doesn’t feel the same way. The story shows us the twists and turns of bringing an older child home through adoption, but shows them through the eyes of the child, through Betti.

The biggest reason for my enjoyment of this book is that is showed me the perspective that Mita and Enu must of had when they first came home to us. The easy confusion with words and meaning, the overwhelming thoughts that can come from a closet full of new clothes. The bath tub! A lot of memories of the girls’ early days came flooding back to me when reading this.

As some of you know I am not a fan of changing older adopted children’s names, and by older I mean about two and up. I think it adds confusion to the child’s identity and tells them that they are not good enough as they are, that they need to change. The fact that they changed Babo’s name to Betti rubbed me the wrong way as is was changed “to make things easier as an American.” My thoughts are this: People can learn how to say an unusual name, it may take a bit of time, but let them deal with it, not the child. Okay, a bit long winded there, you can probably tell that the naming things is a hot-button issue for me!

I have given it to Meg to read and have told Mita that she may enjoy it as well. She isn’t sure if she is going to read it and that is fine. I will ask both girls to write a review if they wish, to give you an idea on what eleven year olds with adoption links think about it. I’ll post them when they have them done (or should I say if?!)

This is a definite read to adoptive parents of older children, especially if they are not English speaking. It gives you your child’s perspective to think about and learn from. It is a fun and easy read. Railsback does an excellent job getting into and older-adoptive child’s mind. I wish more people were this pre

Book Review: “The Girls Who Went Away”

Adoption, Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews 1 Response »

Mar 222011

It may seem like I am on a roll in my adoption book challenge and I guess I am, if not by choice, by the fact the library had the last two books in and sent to me at the same time! I hate waiting on books, so I wanted to read these while I had them. I do have to say that back-to-back non-fiction adoption books can be a bit heavy and I have promised my self some time off the heavy reading for a while. I need some fluff – mind numbing fluff!

The title of this book says so much, The Girls Who Went Away: The Hidden History of Women who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade . Written by Ann Fessler, and adoptee, this book’s heart-wrenching stories and startling facts make it a difficult book to read at times. The book was published in 2006, so it is fairly recent and very much tells a story that one of your (or my) own family members could have lived through.

I have listened to my mom talk of having to wear skirts to school because pants on girls where not allowed or how my mother-in-law was on a basketball team that organized themselves becauses schools didn’t have athletics for girls. These stories make me shake my head. So much has changed in just a few decades it really is like two different worlds in many ways.

Fessler points out that it was the post WWII years of conformity that brought about this time of adoptoin coersion. I don’t even know if coersion is the right word as deceit and unlawfulness was the normal to unwed mothers and there children were basically stolen from them. I’m sure that not all adoptions were this way, but after reading this book you cannot help but see the similarities of the stories. So many girls were told that their baby was going to a new family of a “Doctor and stay at home mom” or were asked “Do you want your child to be called a bastard on the playground?”. As one birth-mother said in the book, it was as if they had a script on how to get a pregnant woman to give up her baby.

I am not surprised that the parents of the pregnant women were upset. I do find it reprehensible that so many went way passed upset and were just plain mean and cruel to their own daughters and grandchildren. Socital pressure was that strong? Unbelievable. This again reaffirms to me that there has never been a time of “good old days” that people look fondly at.

Hearing these stories from birth mothers and adoptees reinforcess how imperative it is that there is more openness with adoption. If not fully open adoptions, medical histories, photos, letters and for heaven sake OPEN RECORDS.

It is 2011 the age of at our fingertips is mind whirling and yet there are people who have been told they have no right to find out who and where they came from. If more people would just stop and think about this issue, I dare to say that records wouldn’t be closed anymore. It just makes sense.

While the numbers of “girls” who disappear for an unplanned pregnancy have diminished, there is still a lot of ethical problems with adoption. You don’t have to look hard to find articles of pregancy distress centers working with adoption agencies or authority figures telling pregnant moms that their baby deserves better. As sick as it sounds adoption is big business and when there is big business there seems to be a flourish of ethical issues.

It is imperative that adoptions are ethical. I have heard so many comments of how adoption is to complicated, that adoptive parents have to wait to long, that if a child needs a home she should have it now and not have to wait for paperwork. I have personally felt all of those things during my adoption process, but I can honestly say that knowing that my adoption was ethical is so comforting to me now. If there had been any doubt in my mind that my girls’ family was coerced, paid, bribed or even worse my conscience would forever be marked.

If you know of a family member or friend who has had a “quiet” adoption in her past I encourage you to read this book, try and see the experience she is having and be a very good friend to her. This is also an informative book for all members of the adoption triad.

Book Review: “Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide”

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews 1 Response »

Mar 182011

For my second book on the Adoption Reading Challenge I choose Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide by Suzanne Buckingham Slade. This book is apart of the It Happened to Me series for teens. As my girls are getting older I have found myself looking for books they may need/enjoy as they age. It is very scary, by the way, to watch your kids growing up so fast that they will soon be entering the teen world.

I tried to come to this book as a teenager would. Full of questions of my adoption, maybe some anger and hurt. I cannot, of course, ever know how it feels to be adopted, but I hope that three years into being an adoptive mom I have discovered some insight and wisdom on the subject.

There are several true stories, quotes and heartfelt tales that could be helpful to read weither you are an adoptee or adoptive parent. The book validates teens questions and feelings as normal and productive. There are also several resources noted for further help and therapy is suggested wisely to the teen who is struggling.

Chapters on international adoption, older child adoption and trans-racial adoption have good information and I would encouraged my girls to read those chapters as most of the chapters are not relevant to our story. Most of the book refers to children who were adopted at or near birth.

A line in the books mentions that birth mothers get extensive therapy before the adoption. Unfortunately this is untrue for most adoptions, even in our modern world of adoption professionals. Also a quote at the beginning just scream wrong at me:

“Our children need the benefits that a two-parent home can give. Birth parents can place their child for adoption and go on to live happy, fulfilled lives.”

Ruth A. Mark Adoption Resource Services

I find it wrong to suggest that all adoptive homes are two-parent homes and would be more stable than a single parent home. We know that adoptive parents are not perfect and they do get divorced and have the same problems that all families have. Also suggesting that birth parents can simply place their child and go on to be happy appears very flippant to birth parents. Relinqishment is not a easy thing to “go on” from.

It is my hope that this book will get a major editing job soon and then again in another decade or so. I say this because it needs to be updated now with new pictures and format and it lacks current subjects such as ”friending your birth mom on Facebook”. An update in a decade would be great as I hope that open adoptions will be the normal and they will not have to focus so much on finding your birthparent or wondering about your heritage.

I gave this book 2 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.com and feel it is an okay read for adopted families, but not the only book they should rely on.

(Disclosure: I checked the above book out at the library and did not recieve any compensation for the review, nor was I asked to review it.)

Book Review: The Great Gatsby

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Reviews 5 Responses »

Feb 152011

IMHO (in my humble opinion) The Great Gatsby is not so great! It was written by F. Scott Fitzgerald and published in 1925. In my challenge to read the classics I chose this book because it is one I have heard referenced many times. The only thing I knew about it was that it was set in the flapper-prohibition time and that Gatsby was a man.

I struggled to finish the book. I read two other books while reading this book, just for entertainment. I thought about tossing it (okay, taking it back to the library) several times, but did finish it just yesterday.

The plot per me: A young man narrates the meeting of his neighbor and the social life of the well-to-do people of his time. Gatsby, the neighbor, is a filthy-rich man who loves to throw parties but has ulterior motives to become reacquainted with an old flame. There is a bit of sex, drinking and violence; but pretty tame compared to today’s standards.

Because Gatsby is not the narrator, you never get to know him. In fact his character is so detached I find myself wanting to hear more about the narrator, Nick. I had a hard time connecting with all of the characters, which is unusual for me, especially with being based in a earlier time. I normally love period books.

Dry and tight are two words I would use to describe the writing, thus making it hard to read. Sorry classic lovers, I just didn’t feel it.

Feel free to argue with my review and tell me how lousy a literary person I am!

Book Review: All The Broken Pieces

Adoption, Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge 4 Responses »

Jan 142011

The superintendent of schools called me at 5am this morning. It was a recorded message saying that (yet again) school is on a two-hour delay. Sometimes I can go back to sleep after this familiar call. Today I could not. So I picked up the book I was going to start reading today anyway and took a bath. I did not know that this would be the best way to read this particular book. Not necessarily the bath, but the quiet house and reading it all in one setting. No interruptions.

All The Broken Pieces by Anne E. Burg is written in verse. A new way of reading for me and I adored it. Short, sweet verses without all the flowery language that can bog a story down sometimes. This adoption themed book is the first of my adoption books I am reading this year in the Adoption Reading Challenge hosted by Jenna at Chronicles of Munckinland. I found this book by looking for adoption books on Amazon and thought I would try it as the adoption theme is about Operation Babylift . Some see as Operation Babylift as the beginning of international adoption in the USA.

The perspective of the book is from a twelve-year-old child, Matt, who was fathered by an American solder who “married” a Vietnamese woman and never returned after his tour of duty. His first mother put him on a Babylift helicopter when he was ten. The raw feelings this child has really helped me with understanding what Mita and Enu have gone through. Different circumstances, sure, but they all have lost a mother, a father, a country, a language.

What resonated with me is how Matt saw things. When his adoptive mom and dad showered him with love and what they thought was understanding, he saw it as conditional. He strives to be a very good child, so they don’t send him away. This is common with children who have been adopted. They either strive to be the “perfect” child or they rebel and act out. It was as if he kept waiting for them to send him away.

Do my girls still feel that way? What goes through their minds? Like Matt, they don’t talk about Ethiopia much or their feelings about the adoption, but when they do the floodgates open and I get a better perspective of what is in their mind and hearts.

While reading I felt good and refreshed with a new sense of commitment to listen to my girls, to try and understand better, to offer more opportunities for them to open up.

After reading this book I am starting to doubt my parenting. I resent how perfect Matt’s adoptive parents were. They never lost their patience. I must remind myself, yet again, that parenting if never easy and people are never perfect but consistent love and affection does will in the end make a difference.

The characters are a bit stereotypical with the sacrificial first mom, the irresponsible birth father, the saving adoptive parents; but because it is written in simple verse and can be read in one setting, these stereotypes did not annoy me. In the end it is just about the child, his feelings, his journey not the parents’ journey.

The story covers the themes of loss, culture, cancer and death, as well as prejudice and hate. It is worth the read for everyone, not just the adoption world.

Have you read this book? If so what did you think about it?

Also, any recommendations on other books written is verse would be welcomed. I love it!

Book Review: Dracula

Books I Have Read, Reading Challenge, Stuff 2 Responses »

Jan 092011

As I posted last week, I am doing a reading challenge to read more classics. I just finished my first book of 2011, Dracula by Bram Stoker. Yes, you read that right. It took me eight days to read it. I have two reasons for this 1) I’ve been crazy busy and 2) It is hard to read this old time language! I am normally a very fast reader, but found that I had to have a quiet room and had to be fully awake to keep up with my book. Anyway, here is my official review.

I loved it and totally see why it remains the book people refer to when talking vamps. I found it to be entertaining and suspenseful, without being to dark or graphic with horrific details. I told Hubby that I could see why this was once considered the scariest book ever, but with our modern day desensitization (my age showing here) it wasn’t remotely to scary for me. I’m not a horror movie or book kinda person. The reason I like Twilight so much is because it has what I call Moral Vampires. Dracula was not a moral vampire! He was evil with some self-control, and he was smart but limited by his condition.

The story starts in Transylvania and it was great actually reading the beginnings of all the tall tales and legends that are talked about in movies, books and in everyday life. There are five other main characters besides Count Dracula in the book and they are extremely moral characters themselves. They are not chasing vampires for thrills, kisses or blood, but to rid the world of the evil that has effected their loved ones.

I loved how they talked to each-other and at the same time I wonder if people really did talk with such poetry and prose? Is this just the writing style of the day or because they didn’t have to express themselves in 140 characters or less? One passage of speaking lasted several pages long and I had to read it twice because I kept getting lost in the descriptions!

First published in 1897 the sexism was very obvious and not tongue-in-cheek. Mina, the only female main character, was in the end the hero (in my opinion) and beloved by all but this is how she was described at one point of the books:

“Ah that wonderful Madam Mina! She has man’s brain – a brain that a man should have if he much gifted- and a woman’s heart…we man are determined -nay, are I say pledged – to destroy this monster, but it is no part for a woman. Even if she not be harmed her heart my fail her in so much and so many horrors; and here after she may suffer….”

Dr. Van Helsing is who we hear about, but as I mentioned above, she rocked the whole story and Dracula would still be among us if not for her. Okay, joking. Not real I know!

I am very glad I decided to read Dracula. I would highly recommend it to the vampire crowd or to the not-so-much-vampire crowd as well. I think I would let my oldest (age 11) read it with no problems as well. She is an avid Harry Potter, Narnia, Eragon fan and I think she could handle the Count!

The next stop on my book reading adventures is a modern read by Jennifer Weiner, Fly Away Home, and then I will get started on my adoption reading challenge. The next classic book that I am thinking about reading is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Thanks to The Deranged Book Lovers for hosting the classic Reading Challenge!

What are you reading right now?

Art work credit

My Book Challenges of 2011

Adoption, It's all about me!, Mom's Free Time, Reading Challenge 6 Responses »

Jan 032011

I love to read. You all know that. I am almost always out of books due to my lack of library trips and my ability to read super fast (a curse really). I have also never done a reading challenge, but they look like fun… so this year I thought that participating in a challenge (or two) might keep me up on the books while being fun getting to meet other bloggers and readers alike.

The first challenge I am doing it being hosted by Firemom over at The Chronicles Of Munchkin Land. The theme is adoption. I have decided to participate in level two, which consists of 3 fiction/3 non-fiction books about adoption. All people in the adoption triad (birthparents, adoptive parents and adoptees) are encouraged to participate and of course anyone who is not in the adoption world is more than welcome to join up as well. I decided to do this challenge because 1)Firemom is my friend 2) I am an adoptive mom who realizes that adoption is a process. I need to keep learning so we can all grow together 3) I’ve stayed away from adoption books/mags/stories for a while because I was tired of talking/reading about it. I was on adoption overload. I do realize that it is time to start learning again.

The second challenge is to read the classics. I get on a classic kick every once in a while as I feel a bit under-educated on the subject. I normally read one or two and forget my goals. When I found a classic reading challenge over at The Deranged Book Lovers Blog I was very excited. This should keep me on track. My first pick is a salute to my Twilight obsession, I am reading Dracula!

I have even assigned book topics to my new organization calendar (see New Year’s Resolutions post) so that I will rotate themes and stay on track. I’m so amazing and organized this first week in January. It is sure to last. Really. I mean it this time. It will happen. I will become a maven of organizational skills and techniques. I am now rambling about my daydreams.

So there are my book goals for 2011. I am sure to continue to read the literary fluff that entertains me so (easy reading is such a stress reliever.) I ‘m also going to keep track of all of the books I read in 2011. I’ve never done it before but I was inspired by momoutnumbered.

Do you have any reading goals for the year? If not, look around the web and you may just find one that suits you.

Four Against Two