My Soap Box » Four Against Two

Getting Her Ready For Social Media

A Mom's Job, Family, Frustrated Mommy Moments, Moments With Meg, My Soap Box, Parenting, Safety, Teendom No Responses »

Apr 252012

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have an almost 13-year-old that is bringing the whole social media thing and her use of it to my forefront. I have several ideas running through my head on how to approach this, but I still have time. I don’t think I am in denial, I just like to procrastinate. Ask Hubby if you don’t believe me.

Meg (said almost thirteen year old) has a blog. She started it not quite a year ago and reviews books, movies and a few random posts. She is an obsessive reader, likes to write and is currently writing her first novel, which I find amazing, I know I am a her mom, but it is amazing. From time to time though she gets writers block and for some reason thinks it is my responsibility to help her through it. This conversation just happened this morning:

Meg: Mom, I don’t know what to write for my next blog. Tell me what to write. (Read in a whiny voice).

Mom: Write about Earth Day, write about your Silver Award project.

Meg: I’ve tried and I cannot. I’ve tried and tried.

Mom: Just start writing and throw out your first paragraph, a lot of writers do that.

Meg: I can’t, tell me what to write! (whiney voice is louder and more annoying)

Mom: (Watching a TV commercial about cars) Write about how you feel when you start daddy’s car in the morning. It could be a good father’s day gift for him.

Meg: (Silence)

Mom: (….ah silence)

This is what she came up with When I Start The Car. I think she did a great job sharing her emotions and I am very happy that I was able to help her out for once. Maybe now she’ll listen to me sooner, but I doubt it.

It is times like these that make me think she may be ready to dip her toe in the tumultuous ocean of social media. Not because writing a good blog makes you savvy to the ways of Facebook, but because she has demonstrated that she can share her feelings effectively to the world (or me). She writes, she proofreads, she edits.

She recently sent a text that hurt her friend’s feelings. We were able to talk about how texting and emails don’t show the emotions that your voice does. You cannot say somethings with a text. It’s just not done. A painful lesson, but on a smaller scale thankfully. I cannot help but mourn for the girls who have texted much worse to people such as inappropriate pictures. Our children have the whole world in their hands, literally. The power they have is daunting, yet we seem to let them treat it way too lightly.

To many I may be over thinking the social media thing. I may seem obsessive or over-protective with my kids. I cannot help but be careful with my girls though. Social media is the way of the world. Bosses are checking your Facebook page. Colleges are tracking your movements. Your social media footprint follows you much like your credit score, and you have to protect it. On top of that you have crazy people trying to meet with your children in hotel rooms (we have one of those down the street).

I hope when Meg clicks post on Facebook she looks at her post not as a brief update on what she is doing after school, but as a little piece of her that she is sharing with the world. I hope she can look at it objectively and think “Does the world need to know this about me?” “Is this a safe thing to share?” “Would I share this with a stadium full of people?” “Is this fair to other people?” “Will it hurt someone’s feelings?” That is a lot of questions to go through someone’s mind, but with time and practice I think we can learn to take a double look at our contributions to the world. Even if they are only 140 characters or a pin.

Trying To Figure Out The Social Media Thing For My Kids

A Mom's Job, Entertainment, Family, Moments With Meg, My Soap Box, Parenting, Safety, Teendom 1 Response »

Mar 092012

I must tell you that the knee-jerk reaction I have when I think of my kids joining social media is no, absolutely not, never and lets just not even go there. Why do I feel this way? Well, it is just one more thing to monitor for one, and I just don’t need anything else to my list to check on. My daughters also see their friends five days a week if not more, so they are not lacking socialization.

My oldest daughter, Meg, does think it is somwhere she needs to go. Hmm. Now I have to do that parenting thing and not the dictatorship thing that comes to naturally and makes my life that much more easy. Meg will be the magic 13 this October and is already being strategic about getting onto Facebook as 13 is the legal age to have a Facebook account. I will repeat, Facebook allows you to have an account when you are 13. I repeated that because many parents don’t know this or don’t care about this rule. I recently learned that everyday Facebook kicks off around 100,000 underage kids. It irritates me that parents allow and encourage their kids to break the rules. Go ahead, teach your kids that rules don’t apply to them, we need more entitled kids in this world (sarcasm).

I have noticed that many of Meg’s friends are on Facebook (underage) and even have open to the public accounts. Not even the basics of safety have been undertaken. That scares me. Are we just ignorant as a society or in total denial that bad things can happen to our children?

Okay, back to my own house. I know my kids will be exposed to social media at some point, Actually they are already on Yoursphere network. I love Yoursphere and have tried to get Meg’s friends on it so they can talk and be social online together in a safe place, but it didn’t take. The kids were already on Facebook. I even recommended it to the middle school principle and PTO as a fundraiser and a solution to the social media problem at the school. No go. This at a school that at the orientation spent the majority of the time talking about “mean girls” and social media problems that they were having with behavior.

At a recent Girl Scout event they offered a Hip Pop session for parents/leaders covering social media basics. The one thing I really took away is that we want our kids to be innovators of social media/computer not just consumers. Meaning we want our kids to learn and create things not just stare at a screen. He suggested that we get our kids blogging, making movies, even writing apps. I was pleased that Meg already fits in this category with her blog.

To sum up this all over the place post, I am working towards a plan to raise media savy kids who are productive in our techy climate. I will share my plans and ask many questions on this quest.

I have a headache already. Why can’t they just stay little and be happy with a few places?

Don’t forget to enter my St. Patrick’s Day giveaway! Ends March 11, 2012

Sunday Stream Of Consciousness: A Better Person

Adoption, My Soap Box No Responses »

Jan 222012

Today I spent a couple of hours at an amazing meeting with representatives from the three different side of the adoption triad: Adoptive parents, Adoptees and Birth parents. Actually the meeting was all women, so I can just say moms.

It was a wonderful way to spend two hours. Hearing stories from others, who may not have had the same experience as I do with adoption, but I still learn from them. I have found that being good friends with a birth mom has made me a better adoptive parent, which in turn has made me a better person.

To be around others from different backgrounds, different opinions, different experiences is something I really enjoy. I love learning from people’s stories. It has made me a better friend, mother, daughter and wife, which in turn has made me a better person.

I see a theme here that I wish others would see. We don’t all have to agree on everything, we don’t all have to have the same background, we don’t all have to use the same language. But if we spend time together, learn from each-other and glean from our experiences as a whole, we will become better people.

What started as an adoption piece just turned into a political year post!

This was my five minutes of Sunday Stream of Consciousness. No editing, no spell check, just raw writing. It is refreshing!

Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
Link up your post.
Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

The Non-Christmasy Christmas App

A Mom's Job, My Soap Box, Seasons 2 Responses »

Dec 142011

I really wanted to entitle this The Non-Christmas Christmas App That I Wasted My Money On And Am Incredibly Mad About, but I thought that would be a bit too long and obnoxious.

The other morning I was snuggling deep in my bed with # 3 and #4 (Enu and Elle) and we were playing Holiday Angry Birds. An add popped up for a Christmas App. It was Talking Tom’s Christmas or something of that sort. So I buy it to make the kids happy…$0.99 cents or $1.07 with tax. A drop in the bucket for my children’s Christmas happiness right?

So we play. We feed Santa, tickle Santa, make Santa laugh and so on and so forth. Then one of the girls presses a button and Santa MOONS US! That’s right, the big guy drops his pants and shows us his holiday greeting underwear. But wait, there is more! You can personalize his undies and email the picture to someone! Yeah! Just what I want to send out to my dear ones. Santa’s undies. Not. Big time not. Royally ticked off at the waste of my money not.

I have four children. I have enough farting, burping and bodily function jokes and stories told at my table and in my life. I don’t need Santa to egg them on.

So if you ever design a Christmas app, please keep it Christmasy and leave out the mooning.

Please.

I might just buy your app if you do ;)

Children Are Dying

A Mom's Job, Ethiopia, My Soap Box 1 Response »

Nov 022011

Children are dying.

Right now.

Every second.

Every minute.

30 thousand in three months.

30,000 people live in Juneau, Alaska.

How would we react if Juneau, Alaska’s population died of starvation? Would it be different than how we reacted to the 30,000 children who died in the past three months in Somalia? If 30,000 people died in England or Australia would we feel differently than we do the Horn of Africa?

I really want us to think about why we are ignoring Africa? Is it because most of the news we hear about Africa is bad? Is it because the people are black? Do we think they deserve what they get?

Being born in American does not give us more humanity or extra importance in the world. Kids in America are malnourished and obese due to poor diets. There are problems here that need to be addressed for sure, I will not argue that. The economy is bad. Yet, when I go to Starbucks there is a line. Going out to dinner I see the place is full. Our economic downturn means we tighten our belts and make hard decisions, but we are not losing thousands of our kids to starvation.

Please don’t tell me that we need to feed America first, when mothers in Africa are choosing which child to carry to the hospital while leaving the other one to die.

No comparison. Don’t even try.

If you can give, give. If you cannot give: pray, make yourself and your children aware of what is going on. Share that life is precious no matter what your geographic location is.

Places to give:

UNICEF

MercyCorps

OXFAM

Petition to Sign

Find an organization you trust and give. Give for aid now, so there will be children to education later and hopefully this will be the last time we see this atrocity.

In Defense Of Dirt

A Mom's Job, Health and Hygiene, My Soap Box 1 Response »

Sep 302011

Hello. My name is Mandy and I am a recovering germopobe. I used to pride myself on never touching anything in a public restroom with my hands. I was a professional worrier of germs and bacteria.

When Meg was a baby I went a bit overboard at times on protecting her. I kept her from playing and having fun in the name of safety. I have slowly come to terms with the fact that I cannot keep my kids from germs, viruses or worse. The world is a dirty place and we have amazing immune system that needs exposure to work at its finest.

One of the ways I came to this conclusion happened when I took Meg to a impromptu Doctors appointment. She was sick and I hadn’t scrubbed her from top to bottom before the visit as I normally did to prove I was an amazing parent with a perfectly clean child (you know you do this too so don’t judge me!). I was ashamed of Meg’s dirty toes and apologizing for them when the nurse said, “We want toes to look like that. We call it summer feet and it tells us that your child plays like a kid should.” That comment started me thinking about all the things I used to do as a kid and how letting Meg have a bit more freedom with playing in the dirt might be a good thing.

A couple of days ago I read a post on BlogHer. It was a well written, well-meaning piece about the condition of our nation’s indoor play-places and how filthy they are. I agree with everything this mom did and said, but as I mentioned in the comment section, I was surprised that she was surprised. She toured this play ground tube as if she was exploring a different planet and went on and on about the dirt and what was growing in the play place. I couldn’t help but wonder how this women has lived to be so amazed at grime and dirt. Of course it was appalling, and no I would not let me kids play in a obviously nasty place like she showed,however, the stuff she found growing on the tubes can just as easily be growing on her child’s school bus or on her own skin. Germs, viruses and bacteria are everywhere. You cannot hide from them.

Meg is now twelve (next month anyway). I have three more kids. With each child I’ve become a bit more relaxed with the germ thing. I do want them to be clean and healthy of course, but I don’t go into anxiety mode with a trip to an especially dirty bathroom anymore.

A few things I do make the girls do: Wash their hands when they come home from school or the store and before eating. They learned as soon as they were tall enough to squat on a public toilet rather than sit on it. I do have to say that I used to carry a Clorox spray bottle in my diaper bag and I would clean the toilet seat when they were potty training. If I am on my game I clean the door handles regularly. They also have Kleenex in their backpacks as well as alcohol based hand sanitizer for when they are away from soap and water. Remember that alcohol based sanitizer without the triclosan are best as the bacteria doesn’t become resistant to alcohol like they might with the triclosan, but watch the alcohol use with small kids who suck thumbs and fingers!

There is plenty of support for the dirt is good mantra, they are just a google away. Our hyper-clean society is breeding sicker kids with asthma and allergies as well as poor immune systems. I like this article from 2009. That and similar works have helped many overcome our out of control germ fears.

If I was superstitious I wouldn’t write this next sentence. My kids are healthy kids. Normal, healthy kids with bumps, bruises, summer toes and great immune systems. They get normal colds occasionally. Elle has mongo-sized tonsils and just got her second episode of tonsillitis (in her life). Normal kids stuff. Hopefully they will remain healthy and will be able to fight off the nasty stuff they will be exposed to in life.

There is nasty crap (literally crap) everywhere, even if you cannot see it, and our first line of defense is our skin. Then our nose and ear hairs and digestive juices, if germs get past these defenses our immune system kicks in. The more our bodies have been exposed to the better our immune system is equipped to fight the intruder. If our kids are not exposed to dogs, cats, dust and a bit of dirt and grime their immune system isn’t as strong.

My best advice. Let the kids play. Let them kiss the dog and run around barefoot. Play hard, wash hands and feed them well. That is all.

(Photo Credit)

Moments With Enu

A Mom's Job, Adoption, Homeschooling, Moments with Enu, My Soap Box 3 Responses »

Sep 012011

As mentioned in a previous post, I am homeschooling Enu this semester. There are many reasons for this decision but the main reason is to spend more one on one time with her. It is challenging to spend enough one on one time with your children, and the more children you have the more challenging it is. Enu did not have a lot of nurturing time when she was a toddler/preschooler, she missed out on the afternoons with mom just hanging out.

So at age nine, she is now having her one on one time. Yesterday we went to COSI to explore the hands on science world. She played with lazors, pulled herself up with a pulley and learned about the moon and sun. Looking around I saw moms with toddlers, doing just as we were doing.

I hate the phrase “It isn’t fair”. Life isn’t fair. God didn’t promise us an easy or cushy life. But when it comes to my girls sometimes I do say it to God. This isn’t fair for my girls. Why God why? I know he understands my impertinence.

It is not fair that Enu missed out on her toddler experiences. So I am trying to give them to her now. Please don’t think I am saintly for doing this, it is extremely difficult at times to parent a nine-year old as one would a toddler. I fail often at being patient. I yell too much. I am her parent though and parents give their kids what they need even if it is not easy.

If I have any advice to other parents it is do not hesitate to give you child the environment they need. Even if it seems backward, even if it is not the situation you pictured when you thought of parenting. Who cares what everyone else says or suggests. Do what you need to do to make life work. I have learned this the hard way as I have been the one bulking at it for a long time.

Enough of the heavy. Here are some pics from our day.

Texting While Driving Is A Big Deal

A Mom's Job, BlogHer11, Family, Health and Hygiene, My Soap Box, Safety, School Issues, Teendom 2 Responses »

Aug 162011

This post will be 2G2B4G, I promise!

Yes, we have another topic to cover in order to parent our kids correctly. Not only are we having to talk about sex, alcohol and drugs, but we must talk about sexting and texting while driving. The check list just keeps getting longer. The good news is that we no longer have to talk to our kids about pulling out the ribbons on cassette tapes or wasting film by opening up the backs of camera.

Let’s look at some statistics shall we:

45% of teens admit to texting and driving but only 4 percent of parents believe their teens have ever texted while driving. (LG Stats)
Drivers who type or read text messages contribute to at least 100,000 crashes each year, leading to thousands of preventable deaths. (FocusDriven.org)

Numbers don’t lie and we mustn’t lie to ourselves. Our kids learn best by example. We have to make sure we are not texting while driving and using our cell phones carefully when we are behind the wheel. We can tell them a million times not to text and drive, but if they see us do it: Our words don’t mean anything!

In San Diego , MomOutnumbered and I got to go to a fun cocktail party hosted by LG with spokesperson Jane Lynch. On top of being a party with amazing food and drinks, we got the 411 (do kids still say that?) on texting and driving as well as what some of the letters that our kids use frequently mean. 4COL I learned a lot. The LG site is not only a great resource on texting and driving but it goes into sexting, bullying and also on how we as parents can use the texting technology to help us in our parenting. It is an easy site to navigate and is worth a few minutes to read I promise!

MomOutnumbered

On a personal note: Jane autographed a picture for Mita and read the letter Mita had written her and given to me to give to Jane. (Mita is in love with Jane, I don’t know why, I don’t let her watch Glee (story lines are a bit racey for an eleven year old) but Mita is celebrity obsessed so…) Mita is head over heels happy and I thank Jane for being so kind, I almost WMPL I was so happy.

So, tell the truth. Do you still text and drive? Have your kids called me on it? Mita has insisted she saw me do it once, I don’t remember honestly, but never again!

2G2B4G = To good to be forgotten

4COL = For crying out loud

WMPL = Wet my pants laughing

(Disclosure: I was not asked to write about LG or this event, but the subject matter is important for all of us and I was happy to share what I had learned. I did not receive any compensation for this post, but the party really did have great coconut shrimp!)

Pink-ed Out or Perfect With Pink?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Health and Hygiene, My Soap Box No Responses »

Oct 042010

National Breast Cancer Awareness month was started in 1985 by AstraZeneca, a pharmaceutical company who makes cancer medications and treatment, to make people aware of breast cancer and the importance of mammography. Since that time October has become the month for pink. We see pink everywhere in stores, on magazines, on-line and especially in the grocery stores. Some are pink-ed out and say that more money should go to breast cancer research and less into products. There is also the feeling that the company is making far more money because of the pink advertising while only giving a token amount to charities and research. And of course there are the stories of no money being given to research at all, just pink products being sold.

My thoughts on this topic are the following. There will always be people, charities and companies making profits off others through less than noble means. We can make this truth turn us into pessimistic curmudgeons who never give anything to anyway in the guise of mistrust or we can become smarter, more informed consumers and give with full hearts and minds.

I choose to be an informed person and give when I feel led to give. Here are my tips for decided what is true pink this month.

What should one look for when buying pink?

*Does the packaging clearly say where the money is going to and how much? If the packaging is vague or mentions a charity you have not heard of, I would ask more questions or just skip it.

*Is the product a quality one? If it ends up in a land-fill before October ends, then I would just leave it be.

*Does the product or service give information on Breast Cancer? The original meaning of encouraging mammograms and early detection has been lost among many of the marketers.

*Will you use the product? If not, then donate the full amount you would have spent to an organization you trust. Why by a $5 pink umbrella you will never use for two dollars to go to cancer research, when you can donate five and have less clutter around your house?

How to check out a charity or organization:

CharityNavigator.org

GuideStar.org

The above two sites are helpful in learning about charities and organizations that you are thinking about giving to or buying products that donate money to certain organizations.

Whenever giving money or time to an organization I want to feel good about it and believe that there is blessing in the giving. Over the next month I will be writing about the topic of breast cancer, breast cancer research and may even review a few pink products. I would love to hear your opinions on being pink-ed out, so let me have it!

*Don’t forget to enter my giveaway!

Clip Art Credit

A Must Read (Because I Say So)

Books I Have Read, My Soap Box No Responses »

Aug 302010

I was at my good friend FireMoms a few weeks ago, planning our BlogHer10 trip (is it over already?) and told her that I needed a book to read. I go to the library every week with my kids in the summertime, but never get myself a book unless it is on the New Selection section. She gave me one she had just finished and I read it greedily. Now you must go read it!

I Am Nujood Age 10 and Divorced by Nujood Ali with Delphine Minoui, is a book that enlightens the reader to injustices to girls that are going on right now in the world. Not 100 years ago, but now.

Nujood lives in Yemen. This middle-east country still practices arranged marriages with young girls. They do this for many reasons. It is a cultural practice, to enhance a families standing, and of course for money. Nujood was given to a man who beat her and raped her. Unfortunately, this is common. What makes this story so remarkable is that Nujood would not stand for being treated this way and sought out a divorce. From the title of the book you know that it was granted.

Even with her divorce granted Nujood does not have an easy life now in Yemen. She has big dreams though and people who believe in her. I will be watching out for more news from her as she reaches adulthood and continues to fight for human rights.

While this subject is heavy stuff, the read was not difficult. I do understand that many would not read about this subject as it is not a pleasant one. I do encourage you to read it though. Read it to educate yourself, your family and your community.

Have you read I Am Nujood? What did you think?

Check out this recent story… www.CNN.com

(Disclosure: I was not asked to write this review or compensated. The links are not affiliate.)

Eclipse Movie Review (and some mommy ranting)

Entertainment, movies, My Soap Box, Summer Fun 3 Responses »

Jul 052010

Eclipse came out last Wednesday in the early morning hours. I was not there I must say. My advanced age kept me from tackling the early morning hours. Okay. So I am not that old, but life does get in the way sometime and it did this past week. Hubby and I were babysitting our friends’ four children for ten days (four plus four does equal eight remember!) and needless to say I didn’t need a Twilight Hangover the next day! I also didn’t have goodie bags this time around either, but I hope to do better for Breaking Dawn.

The movie was a lot of fun. I will be the first to admit that the Twilight movies can be a bit cheesy, but so are the books and yet so many of us like cheesy! I have to admit that I did cringe at Jasper’s sudden Texas accent. It was a bit overdone, but at least they lightened up on his look a bit and he doesn’t look as freaky as he did in the first two movies.

It had a lot more action than the first two films and I appreciated the bloodless action. It was great fun to see Edward rip off the head of Victoria. I never knew I was this gore-seeking!

As far as going along with the book, the film did pretty good with that. Of course they cannot ever match the book page by page, but there was one part I wish they had gone word for word with. After Bella kissed Jacob and she is looking at Edward he says,”You love him.” She then says,”I love you more.” and that was about it. I so wanted this:

“…when I left you, Bella, I left you bleeding. Jacob was the one to stitch you back up again. That was bound to leave its mark – on both of you. I’m not sure those kinds of stitches dissolve on their own. I can’t blame either of you for something I made necessary. I may gain forgiveness, but that doesn’t let me escape the consequences.” Stephanie Meyer ~ Eclipse

Maybe some producer will read this and add it to the DVD? Yeah I am sure that will happen!

My mommy rant of the day (hour?) goes to Burger King. On our way to an animal park with the kids we stopped at Burger King for lunch. The kids meals were giving away TWILIGHT TOYS! You heard me toys of Edward, Bella and Jacob. My stomach turned and I was ashamed of being a Twilight fan at that time. The Twilight series is a young adult series plan and simple. Marketing toys to kids under ten is ridiculous and is one more way were are letting our children grow up to early and be exposed to adult things.

Oh, and I totally agree with FireMom: The sparkling has got to go. It just looks so tacky, silly, stupid and more! FireMom is on the fence at this point with the whole Team Jacob team Edward thing. MomOutnumbered is a solid Team Jacob. I am team everyone wins-because-I-read-the-books-and-they-have-a-happy-ending!

Like and for-sure! I’m such a teenager after writing this!

Photos by Mandy W. 2010

Learning Responsibility Vs. Teaching It

A Mom's Job, My Soap Box 2 Responses »

Oct 022009

1215808_coloured_daisy Today I dropped my eldest three princesses at school. It was raining, chilly and pretty darn miserable outside. In the sea of umbrellas and hoods, the girls stuck out with their uncovered heads. I admit I did cringe as I watched them walk away. Not because they were getting wet, but because I’m sure all of the teachers were thinking what a bad mother I was for letting my kids get wet.

Maybe it’s just my personality or that my kids are especially stubborn, but I cannot teach them responsibility. They have to learn it themselves. I could have handed them umbrellas and coats this morning or let them use mine to get into school dry. If I had done this however, come Monday morning they would be waiting for me to do the same. Today they will get wet, and hopefully remember from now on not to leave their umbrellas and jackets at school in their lockers.

I’m not as heartless as I sound. At breakfast this morning I mentioned the weather and the chill and told them all to dress appropriately. I even gave some hints as they were dressing this morning. I don’t want my kids to be cold, but I also know that when they go off to college that their dorm leader won’t be chasing after them with their coats and umbrellas and water bottles.

Both Hubby and I have worked with and known individuals who need taken care of. Adults who never learned responsibility and are floundering through life blaming everyone else for their troubles. I want my kids to be able to take care of themselves. They are learning how to do the laundry, dishes, vacuum and clean bathrooms. They are learning that a house doesn’t run by itself and that a family works together to function at full speed.

There seems to be a lack of personal accountability with this generation that concerns me. I hear teachers telling stories of helicopter parents who are calling to get their kids grades changed, who don’t care what their child is learning as long as they get the “A” needed for college. I’ve read an article about a college professor who has parents calling him about their child’s grades…these are adults here who are being treating like elementary school kids.

One day Mita left her backpack at her grandma’s house. Instead of getting on yellow in her class as the rules state, the teacher let her off and consoled her. This taught Mita only that rules don’t really matter and that the teacher won’t do what she says she will do. Did I want Mita to get on yellow and get yelled at? No, I wanted her to get on yellow and learn that she needs to remember her backpack, and have her teacher tell her, “Hey, you forgot your backpack, your on yellow, but I know you’ll remember it tomorrow.”

So if you see my kids running around in outfits that don’t match or charging their lunch because they forgot to bring their lunchbox, please don’t think I’m a unfit mom. I’m a mom watching my kids make little mistakes in hopes that they won’t make big mistakes when they really count.

*Disclaimer* I would never let my kids freeze and do stop them from harming themselves and others!

Photo Credit

Racism Is Still Here

My Soap Box 1 Response »

Jul 112009

This past week a story out of Philadelphia disturbed me. You probably heard it on the news about the kids from a day camp being kicked out of a private swim club. Of course there are two sides of the story or it wouldn’t be news would it? The day camp mentions that there were many racists comments made and that is why they were asked to leave and the swim club because there was not enough room to accommodate all the kids.

Honestly, I know that people use poor wording at times. I am known to put my foot in my mouth often and really try and think before I speak. I also know that race and racism are sensitive subjects (two of my kids are Ethiopian remember). As I still have some optimism in me I will take this story apart and encourage readers to think about some of my points so they will not bumble into a situation like this.

#1 The swim club director said that they were unaware of not being able to handle the numbers of kids. Most places have fire codes and numbers that are posted to remind people in charge. This director should be aware of the numbers before he agrees for groups to come and swim.

#2 When issuing a public statement for an organization it would be wise to have someone read that statement and possible give constructive criticism. Maybe a board member or an attorney? If you did not hear the comment it was, “There was concern that a lot of kids would change the complexion … and the atmosphere of the club.” Not a great choice of words. I wonder if the word complexion is used often in that part of the country? I know I don’t hear a lot of people in this part of Ohio saying the word unless they are talking about skin.

#3 Sometimes it just better to STOP talking. In his apology statement he kept using the term, “these children” over and over. “Most of these children, cannot swim” “These children from the inner city.” It was painful to hear and I just kept yelling at the TV for him to stop talking!

All of these statements in themselves could just be poor word choice as I mentioned or it could be blatant racism. I am confident (that optimism again!) that it will be taken care of and if changes need to be made they will be.

What scares me dearly and makes me worried about the world I’m bringing my kids up in isn’t this story necessarily. It is the comments to the story that people took the time to write. If you do not believe that racism exists you need to read the comments. Some of the words are from such a deep seeded long ago time that I don’t even remember reading them when learning about American black history. I had to take a moment to realize what they were saying. The cruelty, fear and anger were so apparent for both “sides”. It astounds me that computer literate people in 2009 think this way. It would be easier to think that the hate that exists is in an older generation and that in time it will be gone. WRONG! People pass hate to each-other as easily as they pass down love.

Fear of the unknown brings rage and encourages racism. If the comments that people quoted saying at the pool are true this demonstrates fear and ignorance. Saying “I hope they don’t hurt my children.” when black children walk into the pool area says a lot about what is going through a mother’s mind.

Some of you may wonder if we have experienced racism since bringing the girls home. We have. Nothing to make the news or call the ACLU about, things that we use as teaching moments for our family and things that we have made changes. When the girls were told on the bus, “You are brown because you eat poop.” The girls no longer rode the bus. The school was told, things were done promptly and we got an apology letter from the child, but the bus is such a poorly supervised time for kids and we thought it best to take it out of the equation.

We have also gotten poorly asked questions and statements, “Are they twins.” “Isn’t there hair horrible.” and people wanting to “pet” there skin and hair like they are on for display. I had a lady at Wal-mart tell Enu in a very loud voice,” You need to learn to speak American now.” I frostily told her that my daughter was doing wonderful at learning ENGLISH and that we were very proud of her.” Enu looked at the lady with a puzzled look as if to ask, “What’s wrong with this lady.” and then she ducked to get away from the hand that was about to pet her.

The worst was, “I cannot tell them apart.” from a person who had been around them for several months and did not bother to notice that beside their skin, eye color and hair color they look nothing alike. Different noses and mouths and eye shapes. Personalities are totally opposite and Mita is taller than Enu and in a different grade with different teachers. This person actually called me one day and told me the wrong daughter was ill. It showed that she couldn’t get passed the skin color to see my kids. If you are thinking I’m to harsh on her you must know that she is a school employee and knows the names of almost all the kids who have gone through that school for the last ten years. Am I still polite to this women? Yes. Do I have the same respect for her I had previously? No. Have I pointed out the differences in the girls to help her get the hint that I didn’t want to hear about “how confusing they were” again. Yes and I haven’t heard her moan about it since.

I think we should all think before we speak, filter what we hear and love each-other as God loves us all. Learn about what you do not know and the fear will go away. Don’t let a knee-jerk reaction determine your integrity as a person. Don’t deny that there are racism issues in our wonderful country because you do not experience them.

I would love to hear thoughts you have about this post!

Help Protect And Promote Breast-feeding

Breastfeeding, Earth Friendly Ideas, My Soap Box No Responses »

Jun 302009

Elle raises her arms for Breast-feeding!

Anyone who knows me knows that I am passionate about babies and the feeding of babies. Both Meg and Elle were breastfeed into toddlerhood and it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. It is so empowering to grow a baby! Professionally, I have chosen to pursue my certification in Lactation to help other moms and babies during this time of their lives.

I have recently learned of a piece of legislation in congress that has been written to help protect breast-feeding moms and babies when moms return to the work force. I encourage all of you to read up on it and write your congressional leaders to support this bill.

The American Academy of Pediatrics wants babies to have breast-milk exclusively for six months and with complementary foods until twelve months of age a AT THE VERY LEAST! This is not happening and one of the major reasons why is that the workforce is not supportive of nursing moms in general. Companies are always looking for ways to cut costs, if they supported breast-feeding moms, their medical costs would be lower, workers would take less sick days and everyone wins!

One of these days people in power will realize that prevention is cheaper than treatment. Breast-feeding prevents many illnesses and promotes good health both physically and mentally.

Here is the link for more information:

Four Against Two

Sunday Stream Of Consciousness: A Better Person

The Non-Christmasy Christmas App

Children Are Dying

In Defense Of Dirt

Moments With Enu

Texting While Driving Is A Big Deal

Pink-ed Out or Perfect With Pink?

A Must Read (Because I Say So)

Eclipse Movie Review (and some mommy ranting)

Learning Responsibility Vs. Teaching It

Racism Is Still Here

Help Protect And Promote Breast-feeding

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Books I Like At Amazon!

Breastfeeding Rocks!

Going for two years in a row!

2012 Reading Challenge

I’m A World Book Night 2012 Giver!