Nine years ago Hubby surprised me with a seven-day cruise to the Western Caribbean.   When I say surprised, I mean total shocker. We hadn’t talked about it or anything, I just opened up my Valentines card and there it was.  Lovely man, I know.

Nine years ago I only had one little one. Meg was about three.  I was still perfect mom. You know what I mean, I did it all right and I could tell anyone how to raise a perfect kid.  Meg was a dream child in so many ways and I attributed it to me. Hubby too. But Me.

I was a wreck about leaving her. I was sure we would die on the plane and not be around to enjoy watching her grow up. I was positive that a week with her grandmas would spoil my perfect child.  So I did what every perfect mom would do and I created a pamphlet, yes a pamphlet, for the grandmas.  The title of the pamphlet was: How to Raise A Meg.  Really, that is what I called it.

The trip came and went, all was well.  Apparently my perfect child at one point jumped up on the counter and called my father in law a “lily-livered-codfish”. I, of course, thought that she was a genius for reciting  Peter Pan (a personal favorite) but my father in law wasn’t impressed!  She did fine and was not spoiled forever, we lived to see her again and the pamphlet was forgotten.

Until last night.  Going through old pictures, by mom showed it to me at our Super Bowl get together.  Oh my gracious. How embarrassed was  I?  Reading this pamphlet was eye-opening. I must have been an obnoxious bitch of a mom at that time.  I am able to laugh at myself, but it was enlightening to see how condescending I was back then.  At least I hope it was back then.

We are leaving for Hawaii on Sunday.  When I say we I mean, Hubby and I. That lovely man did it again and surprised me on my birthday last year.   The kids are staying  home   mostly with my mom.  My mom in law and my sister-in-law on deck to help out as needed.  I’ve called in a few favors to help with the picking up and dropping off that is needed with school age kids.  There will be no pamphlets this time around as I do not have the time to make four of them, nor is there room on a piece of paper to explain all the craziness in my head that is parenting.  I do have a schedule made out, a menu planned, general rules for the girls and the necessary permissions for my mom, dad and mom in law to take care of the kids.

So the good news is that I am no longer, neurotic mom.  Or maybe it’s not that I’m no longer neurotic, it’s just that I don’t have time or energy to be. Hmmm.

As they get older and the achievements are more out of the hygiene realm, watching them grow, learn and become who they are meant to become is nothing less than miraculous.  I have found that every morning they come out of their rooms one step closer to adulthood and it makes me want a pause button in some ways and an applause button in other ways.

Where did Meg, long-legs Meg, get her confidence?  Both Hubby and I didn’t have great self-confidence growing up, yet she is strong, solid and humble in her self.  I’ve had teachers and other adults tell me how kind she is and how she isn’t a braggart in her accomplishments.

Mita. My dear Mita has blossomed into a young woman (seriously, have you seen her?!). She is quiet and works so hard. She is reading up a storm and is a straight A student. Straight A’s for a child who four years ago knew no English!   Her room is her castle and she loves to clean it and take pride in her appearance. The outfits she puts together dazzle and are stunning. How does she make sweats look glamorous?!  Her heart. Her heart has had more sorrow than many have had in a lifetime, and yet she is healing.  She gives me spontaneous hugs and I love yous. She calls me Mommy sometimes.  I love to just stare at her. She doesn’t like that so much though!

Enu. Enu is the child who is teaching me patience and perseverance.   She is growing by leaps and bound physically and emotionally.  She is finding herself slowly, but it is happening. She is great with young kids and as of right now she is helping me watch my niece. She will be a great babysitter in just a few years. Her smile is contagious, and she really is quite funny.  It will be great to watch her harness her energy in the years to come.

Elle.  Elle is my elfin fairy for sure.  She is now seven and  I look at what Meg was like at seven and they are so different yet alike.  Elle is becoming very funny, almost a dry sense of humor in some ways. Her comebacks make Hubby and I look at each other and smile. She can take care of herself  just fine in a pack of four sisters!  She still plays with toys, which makes me sooooo  happy.  For Christmas she got an iPod and a Lalaloopsy doll and she will walk around playing with both at the same time.  She still cuddles which makes me think she will always be a cuddler! Yeah!  My baby reads. My. Baby. Reads.

Watching my girls grow is truly a pure delight.  I am overwhelmed with how fast everything is going. Meg is talking about college (of course she has always talked about college, but now I picture it happening!).  Hubby and I find ourselves talking about a third car for the girls to share.

I know that talking about your kids growing up is a well-worn topic. I’ve heard for years how it goes by quickly.  It makes me ache that this is so true but at the same time I love, love, love watching them learn, grow and burst into the world.  If I have anything to do with how wonderful these children are it is my greatest honor in life.  My work is done, everything else is a bonus.

Meg and Hubby

Can you tell that I am a proud mama from the title of this post? Meg has started her own blog reviewing books, DVDs and other things important to her.

I give you MegsMumboJumbo! Check it out and leave her some love!

Thanks to @FireMom for working out all the techy stuff!

So once all the decorations were up (the kids did an awesome job by the way, it is great to have kids who are old enough to actually help with things!) we sat down and I read the letters.  They were simple questions like:

What was your favorite song in 2010?

What was your favorite movie in 2010?

What do you remember most about 2010:

What do you hope happens in 2011?

It turns out that none of the girls’ predictions came true, Elle doesn’t have long hair and Mita didn’t get to go to Washington State.  We did make it to Chuck E. Cheese as Elle had hoped for and Meg did get to perform more in 2011 between her choir and being in Children’s Letters to God.  Enu did not get to spend the night for a week at her friends house, but she did  start doing her hair better!

A nice moment for us. I think this year I will add a few more question and have Hubby and I do one to.  I am going to add this to our Advent activities (Oh yeah, haven’t started planning those yet either.)

I wonder if I will forget next year?  Maybe I should go back and see if I blogged about my idea?  Echinacea anyone?

This year Meg was…well I don’t know what her costume was, but she was cute. Purple and black with a funky hat. Very twelvish! It was all about the candy for her.

Mita wanted to be a bumble bee. I was thrilled that she wanted to dress up. She has never really embraced Halloween and the two previous years she didn’t wear her costume at the last-minute. This year she wore her costume, but put on a sweatshirt the whole time so I never saw the whole suit and of course she didn’t let me take a picture :(

Enu wore the same costume as she did last year, Tiana. She looked beautiful, but this year is definitely the last year for that costume! It was snug to say the least.  On our second round of Trick or Treating she went as a golfer.  Girls change their minds a lot it seems.

Enu as a golfer

  My baby is almost seven. This year for Halloween she dressed up as Rapunzel. She loved dressing up and her outfit was completed by a Gecko and a frying pan as well as a smaller Gecko and small frying plan. If you have seen Tangled, you will  understand the frying pan thing.  She is still excited about the costume.  How many years will I have left with her excitement? How long will it take for her to say M &M’s correctly?

Ella as Rapunzel

As I write this the girls are trading their loot. Heavy negotiations going on. It brings back memories of my brother Josh and I when we were little.  The fun part was trading and pulling one over on him!   Of course in about a week I will combine all of the candy into one pile to save space, but they seem to have forgotten that fact right now.

I wonder about next year. Will I have only two costumes to plan for?  I guess there is always the grandchildren in 20 years!

Hubby was disappointed, but was fine with that until she said she still wanted to play golf and learn to golf better, but she didn’t want to play on the team because the other girls were better than her. Hmmm. That changes things for me as a parent.  Meg is the oldest and very much has the oldest kid mindset, outgoing and stubborn, responsible to a fault at times and all around lovely kid.  So why does she have to be the best at everything in her mind?Why can’t she just play for the love of the game?

Are we teaching our kids (knowingly or unknowingly) that things are only worth their time if they are the best at it?  Is this a new phenomenon or is it age-old and I am just experiencing it with my oldest child for the first time? More experienced parents please help me out here.

I want my kids to have fun, enjoy activities, have hobbies.  These are all things I didn’t concentrate on when I was young. I read books and avoided almost all activities save for concert going.  I want my girls to have a life-sport they can participate in forever to stay in shape and enjoy themselves.

Hitting my stride later in life has been a struggle for me and off course I want to be a good role model for my family.  I started running and really enjoyed it, even completed my first 5K, then got an infection and havn’t been on a run in weeks.   Maybe I need to start running again and show Meg that while mommmy will never win a race, she can still run for the fun of it.

I hope she goes out for golf again next year. I’ll be crossing my fingers and encouraging without nagging (is that possible?). 

If you are reading girls, just play, have fun.  In 5, 10, 20 years who played better golf in the sixth grade will not be the topic of conversation for people. I promise.

12

Twelve

TWELVE

A DOZEN

10 + 2

2 x 6

XII

Don’t forget to enter my Dinosaur Train book giveaway!

It is amazing how differently siblings handle things. Meg is in stealth mode. She eats, sleeps, goes to school and golf and then it’s all about the play. She loves it. Period.

Enu and Elle are not loving it so much. They hate running sissies back and forth to practice. All they do is mumble about how boring it is.  Yet I think they are going to love the actual show.  I know they will love it.

Tech week is basically very long, late practices every night before the show.  Last night the girls got home at 10pm.  We will see how they get up this morning. Tech week is fast food week, spend a ton in gas week and no time for anything week.  It is hard on the family no doubt.  Hubby says we are taking a break after this from the theatre.  I agree with him, but do so love to watch them stretch themselves, learn and have fun.

As a family with four kids we really try not to over-schedule our lives. We want the kids to have free time to play, read and just be kids.  Now that  Meg is in middle school, we are seeing an increase in activities that she wants to explore.  I encourage her to explore but not all at once!  Being in a performance such as the kids are in right now is a real stretch for us. One that we decided to go with this time around, but know that we cannot maintain this pace if our house is going to remain standing, with clean laundry, clean hamster cages and sane parents!

I will be ready for it to all be over, but I will treasure watching them on stage.

What activities does your family participate in that push the limits on family schedules, money and sanity?  Is it worth it or are you toning it down a bit?

(email me at fouragainsttwo @ gmail . com if you want info on tickets)

Art Credit

I love this picture of her. Her face is just like when she was a baby. Serious.

Once upon a time.  A long time ago. I was an idealistic mother who couldn’t wait for her daughter to grow up and read all the books her mother loved so we could sit around and talk about them together.  I made a list of books I wanted her to read, categorized by age appropriateness and reading level.

Fast forward ten years later and some of the list has been read by Meg.  I have discovered a few things along the way.  One is that Meg is Meg, not me. Two is kids like to talk, a lot, but not about things you want to talk about.  Three is that Meg has given me my own list of books to read.

While Little Woman and Little House on the Prairie will always hold dear to my heart I have fallen in love Harry Potter.  I recently read a fun book entitled Schooled.  I read The Hunger Games trilogy and am discussing it with Meg as she completes it herself. The 39 Clues series is on my reading list as she really enjoyed them.

She likes adventure, mystery, strange languages and hard to pronounce names.  I like history, clean and fun romance and moral courage throughout the pages.

Watching her read a book reminds me of me at her age as I would read all day long, switching positions (Chair. Floor. Hanging upside down off couch.) just as she does now.  She will read for hours until a book is done, just like I can. She gets twitchy if she doesn’t have a book, like me.

Having a child is such a mystery. She is so Hubby. She is so me.

I’ll read what she recommends any day!