Why can't they stay little?

You may have noticed that I have four kids.  Four girls actually.  The oldest is ten and the youngest is five.  Social networking for kids ten and under? This question was a no-brain-er for me…at least until about six months ago.  My kiddos were happy playing on Webkinz and I was happy they were on the computer on a site I trusted (we don’t do the premium Webkinz, so I cannot say anything about that feature.).  Enter in the new school year with requests for IPOD touches and laptops computers as Christmas presents.  Even if we had not given a trip to Disney to the girls for Christmas, we knew that the girls would not get their requested gifts.  Why?  Am I cheap? Am I mean?  Yes and yes.  I also don’t want my kids to have unlimited access to the Internet.  When they are online it is on the family computer in the study that is open for all to see.  We also have the girls on their own desktop, so they cannot access our banking, pictures and anything else they could get on and ruin change.

So when I heard about YourSphere, I honestly didn’t pay much attention to it.  I thought I had a few years to worry about social networking and my kids.  Well, soon enough the girls started wondering what Twitter and Facebook was.  Then the founder of YourSphere, Mary Kay Hoal, contacted me with an offer that was to good to pass up.  A family membership for an year…free!  Okay why not!

So what is YourSphere?  It is a social networking site for kids (tweens through 19) that costs an annual fee, which gets rid of unwanted advertising  and provides a safer site to let your kids on.  Parents have control of their children’s activities. I can monitor comments, blogs, pictures and what Spheres they are hanging out it.  I can even block my child’s access if she is grounded from the computer!  I will not pretend to know all about YourSphere and I encourage you to check it out for yourself at YourSphere.com.

The Spheres are  groups with a theme.  There are a lot of them and the kids can start their own as well.  Meg started a sphere about Ethiopia and a lot of kids joined up and learned some things about Ethiopia. One kid said he had to look at a map to find it .  I was floored that a child actually looked up something educational while playing!

Meg has also entered a contest and won!  She got a $25 gift card to Best Buy and was able to get the sixth Harry Potter movie with it.  She was convinced after that!  The annual fees help buy prizes.

I like the fact that I can monitor my kiddos more and that they are learning “internet manners” under my supervision.  We have had many talks on internet safety since starting on YourSpere and talking to your kids is priceless!  I cannot tell you how many times I have told Mita not to change her username and password. She fought me on this and changed it anyway.  Then she promptly forgot both of them and I had to help her out.  I like that she is learning these things with me at an early age and not doing them at school or college!

The kids get more points the more they play and can buy things with the points they earn.  Of course my girls are after the IPOD touch to get…since it will take a few years to earn it, I’m okay with that!

Here are some things my girls have said about YourSphere :

Mita age 10,” YourSphere is really fun, I love listening to the music and watching videos.”

Meg age 10,”It is really fun talking with others and making new friends.  I love the contests especially!” ” The Spheres are the best!”

Enu age 7,” I like being able to design my own page, talking with friends and all the games!”

I have to emphasize that letting your kids on YourSphere does not mean you can let your child on line without checking on them.  This site is for teens and some teenage music and videos are not for a 10 year old.  Mita especially gets lost sometimes and ends up on a YouTube video that she doesn’t need to see.  My kids think  I have eyes on the back of my head and in the walls of the home, and I keep this theory alive and well with my supervision!

So check out YourSphere and see if it is right for your family.  There is a first month trial period that is FREE!

Do you want to win a year long membership for you kids?  (Great Valentines gift!) To enter please leave a comment on how you monitor your child’s internet usage or any comments you may have about your experience on YourSphere. Only one comment please.  You can get additional entries by Tweeting the following,

” Win a year  membership to YourSphere for your kiddo from YourSphere and @FourAgainstTwo”!

and post your tweet to the comments section. You can do this as often as you would like.

Contest ends Friday, February 12th at noon and the winner will be picked at Random.com.

Good luck  and have fun!

Next year your hair will be as long as you want it to be. Keep growing it out!

Dear Mandy,

Christmas 2009 was great and we made a lot of great memories.  I just wanted to let you know a few ways you can make 2010’s Christmas even better.  You need to stop stressing on the stupid things, let go and live in the moment.  This is easier said than done and you have done better this year (e-cards saved time and money!) but next year try and remember a few things:

1) Don’t buy matching Christmas outfits.  It was a miracle they all wore them ONCE this year, and that miracle won’t happen again until they are older and trying to make their geriatric mother happy.

2)Don’t ask them to be in the Church Christmas play.  Wait for them ask to be in it and then have them sign a contract swearing that they will go to all the practices without whining. They were so cute this year and I am very proud of them.

3) Bargain more.  Tell them they will get a bigger Christmas gift if we skip some of the Christmas “fluff” activities like Breakfast with Santa and Santa’s Secret shop (Sorry PTO).

4)Don’t expect them to love and cherish your favorite Christmas book, song or activity. It’s not worth the energy and they will like it better without your endorsement!

5)Don’t begrudge your Hubby to much for being right on more things than you would like to admit.  Maybe he has it right that matching hair bows just aren’t life and death and the fact that Elle wore snow-boots two years in a row to see Santa isn’t all that bad.

Mandy, I hope you remember to read this next year and do as I say.   If you don’t maybe someone will remind you and save the season.

Take care and drink a lot of Chai.  Enjoy the season while you can and remember that one day you’ll be asking to join them in their family’s celebrations someday.

Love,

You

I am a safety nut.   I love all things prevention, I admit it.  I also have to admit that while I have the best intentions of fulfilling all safety laws without a fuss, my children have a different approach.

Ohio’s Child Passenger Safety Law went to effect on October 7th.  This means all children under 8 years have to be in a car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall.  This law passed a few months ago and we have been using a booster for Enu since I heard about it and she is not happy.  She has gone from never wearing a seat belt (Ethiopia) to having to wear a seat belt (too tight mom) and now a booster.  She is 7 years old and boosters are so uncool you know!  Thankfully I compared the law with her recent Dr. appointment measurements and she is now allowed to be booster seat free according to the state of Ohio (by 1 inch!).  You can just hear my sigh of relief through these words I ‘m sure.

As much as I love safety, I hate conflict every-time we get into the car.  So now three of my four kids can just wear a regular car seat (joy!!!!!!).

Then there is Elle.  My runt. My little girl who hates anything remotely tight or snug.  My little 35 pound almost five year old that will have to be in a booster until she is 10 I’m sure.  All I can do is pray and try not to get to angry as she pulls and screams at the booster’s belts.

I have tried everything I can think of to help with this dastardly dance. I have pulled over and secured her seat. I have used strong Velcro to get her belts on better, I have taken away TV privileges.  I have plead, bribed and bargained. Her Grammy has promised her a DS if she stops the crying.  I have also ignored her, actually that is what I usually do. So if you see me looking serene behind the wheel of my car and then see Elle bright red with her mouth wide open, don’t think I’m heartless. I have just gone to my happy place where Elle is 40 pounds, four foot nine and is in a regular seat-belt.

I would love to hear what has worked for you and you family in regards to car seats and seat belts!

Photo Credit

Meg

My baby, my first born, turned ten on Saturday.  This past year I have been dreading this birthday and didn’t approach it with my normal birthday pizazz and preparation. When the magical day arrived I met it with an unexpected attitude.  While I had been prepared for being sentimental and a little sad (and I did get a bit sappy) I mostly felt immense pride in my girl.  I admire her for her confidence, her kindness and her attitude in life.  She reminds me a lot of Hubby, in that she doesn’t put things off, she works hard and plays hard.  She is easy to laugh, fun to be with and knows her own mind.

Ten years ago when I became a mom I had such plans and strategies to raise her into being a compassionate and amazing child.  My plans  have met a few curve balls and I have learned far more from her than she has from me.  I am enjoying watching her become who God wants her to be and it is such a delight to be her mom.  She has really grown into herself the last few months and it is a privilege to watch.

Age 2

Just in case Meg is reading this I must point out that while she is really amazing, she is not perfect and she will not get more allowance or a cell phone any time soon

Today I dropped my eldest three princesses at school.  It was raining, chilly and pretty darn miserable outside.  In the sea of umbrellas and hoods, the girls stuck out with their uncovered heads.  I admit I did cringe as I watched them walk away. Not because they were getting wet, but because I’m sure all of the teachers were thinking what a bad mother I was for letting my kids get wet.

Maybe it’s just my personality or that my kids are especially stubborn, but I cannot teach them responsibility.  They have to learn it themselves.   I could have handed them umbrellas and coats this morning or let them use mine to get into school dry.  If  I had done this however, come Monday morning they would be waiting for me to do the same. Today they will get wet, and hopefully remember from now on not to leave their umbrellas and jackets at school in their lockers.

I’m not as heartless as I sound. At breakfast this morning I mentioned the weather and the chill and told them all to dress appropriately.  I even gave some hints as they were dressing this morning. I don’t want my kids to be cold, but I also know that when they go off to college that their dorm leader won’t be chasing after them with their coats and umbrellas and water bottles.

Both Hubby and I have worked with and known individuals who need taken care of.  Adults who never learned responsibility and are floundering through life blaming everyone else for their troubles.  I want my kids to be able to take care of themselves.  They are learning how to do the laundry, dishes, vacuum and clean bathrooms.  They are learning that a house doesn’t run by itself and that a family works together to function at full speed.

There seems to be a lack of personal accountability with this generation that concerns me.  I hear teachers telling stories of helicopter parents who are calling to get their kids grades changed, who don’t care what their child is learning as long as they get the “A” needed for college. I’ve read an article about a college professor who has parents calling him about their child’s grades…these are adults here who are being treating like elementary school kids.

One day Mita left her backpack at her grandma’s house. Instead of getting on yellow in her class as the rules state, the teacher let her off and consoled her.  This taught Mita only that rules don’t really matter and that the teacher won’t do what she says she will do.  Did I want Mita to get on yellow and get yelled at? No, I wanted her to get on yellow and learn that she needs to remember her backpack, and have her teacher tell her, “Hey, you forgot your backpack, your on yellow, but I know you’ll remember it tomorrow.”

So if you see my kids running around in outfits that don’t match or charging their lunch because they forgot to bring their lunchbox, please don’t think I’m a unfit mom. I’m a mom watching my kids make little mistakes in hopes that they won’t make big mistakes when they really count.

*Disclaimer*  I would never let my kids freeze and do stop them from harming themselves and others!

Photo Credit

It has been a great summer. We have gone from extremely busy to extremely bored in a matter of days.  We have camped, swam, hiked and biked.  Hubby, Meg and Mita have golfed it up and we all had a great time at King’s Island, playing license plate bingo (still need North Dakota and Hawaii), and at Ethiopian Culture Camp.  I have taken countless pictures of the summer and I made a Photo Book with a few of them.  Of course after I ordered the book I realized that I left out all pictures from King’s Island.  I hate it when I do that.  You can see the book here at my Shutterfly Site.

In looking at the pictures I have noticed something.  I am always in the back.  Most of the pictures are of my kids from behind.  It made me think of my role as a mom.  Always in the back, coaching them on, nagging at behavior, watching their successes and watching them fall off  bikes.  Here are a few of the pictures I am talking about:

When we were up at Geneva on the Lake and I was at the end of the bike line I started thinking about how symbolic it was for our family.  Obviously, I’m not the biker Hubby is and I don’t like to lead, so the end of the line is my comfort zone. But  it also lets me see my entire family. I don’t have to worry about where they are or what they are doing because I see everything.  Hubby leads the way and encourages them to go faster, protects them at crossings and is the adventure leader of the family.  I get to stop and walk with them when they are tired or fall.  I can yell out encouragements and  accolades (a few nags as well) when they need them.

One day I want to do an album of my kids growing up with all the pictures from behind.  A mom’s view of her family growing up, learning and starting their lives.

We all like to be in the front every once in a while, but my few years bringing up the back will fly by and I plan on enjoying every minute of it!