As I mentioned last week, we have been doing a lot of shuffling around of clothing at my house, in preparation of the beginning of the new school year.  The clothing shuffle is never easy with four growing girls who all have different likes and body types. I am  a firm believer in hand-me-downs though so I make it work the best I can.

This year I have a new way of clothes sharing that I am really excited about:

ThredUP!

I first heard of ThredUP a few weeks ago at BlogHer10. They had a booth on the Expo floor asking parents to be more environmentally friendly this school year and trading clothing was one of their suggestions.

I soon plugged into the ThredUP site and was happy with how easy it was to manage my account. The first box I chose arrived in two days with clothing items my kids liked and could wear.

I quickly listed five boxes of our clothes that where in nice condition, but we didn’t need anymore and four boxes were picked the very next day giving me credits in my account since they were sizes the site needed at that time.

The basic membership is FREE and the pro membership is $29.99 a year/or $19.99 for six months. With the pro service, meaning you get all the bells and whistles that the site offers.  With my link you can have pro service free for one month!  This way you can feel out the site, list some boxes, maybe earn some credits and soon be a trading maven yourself.

Remember the site does not offer pictures of the clothes, just brief descriptions. I think it is important to remember that you are not shopping for Homecoming dresses and suits here. You are trading hand-me-downs to help out the budget!

Also, until August 30th, ThredUP will donate $1 to Cradles to Crayons for each transaction on the site.  Good deeds, good clothes equals good for everyone! The site is easy to understand and I encourage you all to go there and see for yourself.

One lucky reader will receive a years pro membership for free! This is a $29.99 service for twelve months to use and keep your kids in jeans for a while.  This contest runs from August 23 through August 31st  at midnight. (2010!)  The winner will be drawn via Random.org.

There are several ways to win:

1)  Leave a comment below about your favorite back to school moment. It can be about your children or from your own childhood.

2) Leave a comment below describing your child’s favorite outfit this year that you hate!

3)  Follow me on Twitter @FourAgainstTwo and leave me a comment that you are now following me.

4) Follow ThredUP on Twitter @ThredUP and leave a comment here that you did so.

5) Tweet the following tweet (once a day only) and leave a link to your tweet:

Win a membership to ThredUp with @FourAgainstTwo http://fouragainsttwo.com/index.php/2010/08/23/thredup-is-my-new-place-to-trade-give-away/

Good luck!

(Disclosure: I have not received any compensation for this post. I just thought a giveaway would be fun! I do get a month of Pro status when you sign up through me with ThredUP .)

Elle is ready for school!

Thinking about sending the kids back to school while watching them swim at the local pool just isn’t right.  Shouldn’t there be leaves turning orange or something? I sound my age I guess.  Here we are mid-August and my living room is currently filled with four bags of school supplies that still need labeling! Elle’s Kindergarten night is on Wednesday and I have to have her things ready to go. The other three don’t drop off their supplies (or should I say household goods? Anyone else have to by a ton of cleaning and paper products?) on Monday.

We are going camping this weekend and I really don’t want to be labeling the day after I get back from the lake. After all we  know that the day after camping is laundry day! I would hate to double book myself and my two hands.  That is right. I only have two hands believe it or not (my kids don’t believe it, they think I have extra arms as well as the extra eyes behind my back.)

On top of the school supplies, cleaning supplies, water bottles, sandwhich bags (reusable of course), lunch boxes and book bags  we have clothes. School clothes as some call it. I call it the changing of the seasons clothes switcharoo and guess what? The seasons have not changed yet. Why then,  have I bought long sleeves, pants and sweaters now? The kids want to wear them now.  So I have bags of clothing hidden in an undisclosed place until the weather actually  turns fall-like.  I am such a mean, mean mom. 

The hand-me-down routine with four kids is a full time job. The Good-Will lady sees me at least twice a week as I go through all of our clothes to decide what gets passed down, traded, given away, ripped into rags or tossed.  I went through ten tubs of clothes last Saturday.  TEN!  I whittled it down to 4 and am very proud of myself!

Enu is happy to be going into the big-kid-school!

Of course the kids are already asking about the allowance that I stop in the summer (the summer activities are very costly, if you haven’t noticed), our fall schedule, when the first slumber party will be and of course HALLOWEEN costumes.

Am I ready for back to school. Partly yes and partly no.  What is my biggest school wish right now?  UNIFORMS.  I’ve talked about that before and it is secretly my biggest school wish. My number two school wish is for healthy lunches, but I know that is asking for the moon!

What is your favorite school wish?  Go ahead and tell me. I promise not to tattle on you are tell your kid!

Here are a couple links you may enjoy for your own back to school rush!

ThredUp.com A kids clothing trade site (I’ve just started using it)

Fillthebackpack.com A current contest going on right now.

Etsy.com Where I got my re-usable bags and labeling stickers

(Disclosure:  I have not recieved any compensation for the links above. They are places I use and have found to be fun with good customer service!)

Photo Credit Mandy W. 2010

If you would have asked me a two years ago what brought me joy the answer may have been something like “Hearing my kids laugh.” “Getting a surprise hug or kiss from my husband.”  Maybe I would have even come up with a “The silence of nature” comment! 

Now.  Joy comes to me in smaller, more minute ways. 

Having a spontaneous touch from my ten year old adopted daughter was shear joy.  She patted me on the back in passing. She didn’t want anything. She wasn’t complaining about something. She wasn’t mad. She touched me.  Joy.

Watching my eight year old adopted daughter let her guard down enough to relax is joy.  Her life has been so up and down she is on constant over-load.  Every once in a while she relaxes.  Joy.

Watching my ten year old homegrown daughter lay on the floor beside her sister, who is having a fit and saying really mean things. Patting her back. Whispering it is okay.  Joy.

Watching my five year old  homegrown daughter run and play and love on all of her sisters, not noticing a difference in skin color, not realizing that once it was just her and Meg.  Just living her life without pause.  Joy.

Joy isn’t being happy. Joy isn’t jumping up and down. Joy is pure relief, greatfullness and a bit of bittersweet in the mix.

I’ve got joy. Not every day mind you. Not even every month, but when it happens it is enough to get me through the hard times. It is a true gift from God.

I don’t write the words adopted or homegrown normally when talking about my kids.  My kids are my kids, but older child adoption is a challenge and I felt this post needed those distinctions. This post was written as a part of a contest, see below, but I am so glad I wrote it. I needed to take this out of my head and put it in words. 

“This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.”

Photo Credit

I took my test today.  The exam that will make me an official Lactation Consultant and not just a pretend one.  The exam was very difficult.  You would think that there could not be 100 different pictures of breasts, but there are!

As I got dressed this  morning I knew that I wanted comfy clothes. I put on my well-worn denim capris and a light top.  I slipped on some sandals and grabbed a sweater in case the classroom would be cold.

While sitting at my desk and listening to the proctor give directions I found myself smiling, almost giggling with the fact that I was finally doing it. I was finally sitting for the exam that I had been working for for the past five years.  Actually when Meg was an infant (some 10 years ago) I can remember looking up the requirements for the exam and it seeming like an impossible goal.  Now here I was ready to take the exam and claim the certification! It was a great feeling.  Happiness surrounded my brains at the time.

In the afternoon section of the exam my giggles were long gone as the questions kept getting harder.  No more giggles but  the gurgles started. Yes my belly was making some great noises.  Of course the rest of the women in the room where absolutely silent. Not a sniffle, not a cough.  Just my crazy belly noises.  I think I was disturbing the woman to my left, but she did not kick me or send me dirty looks.  I was not hungry, my stomach was not upset…just really nervous.

As I tried to concentrate on my exam I also had another conversation going on in my head.  It was one of reminiscence.

I was thinking  back to when I took my RN exam.  I wore the most wonderful jeans in the world. They were Gap Boy Fit jeans that I got on clearance in college.  The most comfortable jeans I ever had or ever will have most likely.  They were big enough I could pull my legs up and sit criss-cross-applesauce without any problems. How I wish I had those jeans today.  Maybe my stomach would not have made so much noise if I had those jeans.  Actually with those jeans that with those jeans my gut would have been silent and I would have gotten more questions right.  I am sure of it!

I feel like I passed. I would be surprised if I fail, but there is always the possibility that I missed the questions that I thought I got correct.  I will not find out until late October (archaic timing I know, very 1990).

For now I wait, and hopefully forget that I am waiting.  I may even go to the Gap sometime and look for some new jeans.

It is now 4:53.  A.M.  I should be sleeping.  I just had a wonderful five day trip to Lake Erie with the family.  The kids will be tired and grumpy today. I now, will be tired and grumpy today as well.  I will take the day minute by minute and yell by yell I guess.

Why am I up tonight?  Some may read this and blame my beeping carbon monoxide detector.  I, however, blame FireMom.  As I was drifting off to sleep last night, my last thought was “We have been gone for five days. FireMom says that I need to check my smoke detector batteries if I have been gone for three days. I guess that beeping you hear every minute when your battery gets low does not beep indefinitely!  I then had to  decide if I would check all my detectors before bed or go to sleep.  I turned over and went to sleep thinking the odds were on my side. It is 10:45p.m.

4 a.m.  comes around BEEP BEEP BEEP.  Up I jump and start the “which alarm is it” game.  I deftly detect it is downstairs and get to the living room when it STOPS beeping.  So I am up. I have no more beeping.   I naturally grab my laptop and do some very important AVON work (aka shopping).  Then BEEP BEEP BEEP.  So off to the kitchen I go.

Have I mentioned that Hubby is tall?  Like 6’4″ tall?  He hung the smoke detector in the kitchen so high, that even with a chair I was using an empty Sun Chips box to knock it off the wall (quietly mind you, the children were sleeping).  So I change the battery and all is well.

BEEP BEEP BEEP.  Damn Damn Damn.  I changed the wrong one.  It was the carbon monoxide detector.  So I change those batteries.  Then in my sleep deprived state I start wondering if the alarm was actually going off or if it was the batteries. I can envision the whole family dying because I changed the batteries when I should have gotten everyone out of the house. So I read the back of the alarm. Test it. Pray for no more beeping.  But now I am really wide awake.

See I told you it was FireMom’s fault.

Congrats to FireMom, 2010 BlogHer Voices of the Year finalist!

All joking aside...Reasons for changing your smoke detector batteries.

Photo Credit Mandy W. 2010

I’ve never thought of myself as a messy eater, a person prone to staining her clothes or a clutzy girl who breaks things easily.  I have noticed though in the last few years my wardrobe has taken some heavy hits.  I currently do not own one T shirt that isn’t stained.  Since my wardrobe consists of only T shirts (and scrubs when I’m working as a nurse) this is not good.

I have resorted to buying cheap T shirts and if I get more than a couple of weeks wear out of them I’m doing well.

So what happened you ask. What made this formerly someone neat and non-stained person a messy looking looking frump?  While children of course.  I got through the baby years pretty well, since breast milk doesn’t stain and my kids were not spitty and had few diaper blow outs.  Now that they are 5, 8, 10 and 10.5 though the culprit tends to be LIPGLOSS.   Yes, innocent lip gloss that my girls have by the galloons.  They love to run up to me and hug me with sparkly, shiney lips….then the greasy mixtures of pinks and browns get on my shirts and I have a hard time getting the stains out.  If any of you know of a way to save my shirts I would appreciate the help.

Then there is the sunglasses issue. Never one for fancy shades, I usually would have at least one pair that looked decent.  This year I have been through four pairs of sunglasses. Yes FOUR!  I do admit that they were all from the Dollar Store, but I got so tired of throwing away money on glasses that the $ store just had to do.

The kids like to find my glasses, wear my glasses, drop my glasses, step on my glasses, use my glasses as a boogy board and I’m pretty sure that one time they were used in a breaking and entering… I cannot prove that though.

This week I bought new sunglasses. I had to as my old ones barely made it through Girl Scout camp.  The frames were broken in two pieces and the eye pieces would fall out randomly.  I must have looked like a “be prepared” Girl Scout to the other moms!  LOL.  Oh well.

Here are my new shades….the ones that FireMom made me buy for our upcoming BlogHer10 trip to NYC.  We had to get the biggest black glasses we could find.  Sadly the Dollar Store did not have any and I had to fork over $10 for these babies: 

I will not wear them until I get to NY and I will keep them under lock and key from my girls until that day comes. Then I will wear them. They will break them and together my family alone will keep the cheap sunglass factories in business. It is the least we can do for a lagging economy!

I love babies. I love all babies and except for one of my nephews, almost every baby I have ever held seemed to love me back. My nephew has come around I must say!

I adored the entire pregnancy process (I can say that now that I don’t remember the nausea well and the fact that  the every three minute trips to the bathroom now seems cute), and the newborn time is my favorite time. I feel in control, I know what I am to do. Just hold the baby and feed constantly!  Now I will state that I was extremely exhausted during this time, but it also seemed quite magical.  I can remember just looking at my nursing baby with the biggest heart a mother could have.

So with all of this experience and love of the newborn period (Also the fact that I worked on a L&D floor and helped breastfeeding moms) you would think that when Hubby and I decided to adopt that we would adopt a newborn.  For those of you who don’t know me I must put in a side note here that Hubby and I don’t do anything expected.  For various reasons we decided to adopt older children. We now have a family of four girls with the youngest being five and a half and entering Kindergarten in August.

For a while after the adoption, I still wanted a baby.  Badly.  I kept saying I wish we could have an “oops” adoption and adopt a baby! I yearned for a child who I could hold and ease all of their hurts easily.  I also wanted to breastfeed again. I talked with a few other moms who have children grown or nearly grown and have come to the conclusion that I would always want a baby. This is how I am wired. So for the last year or so I have come to terms with the fact that I will have to wait for grand-babies (many, many,  many years from now please girls) and I was okay with this.

Then the other day I was at our local pool.  The three older girls were swimming and socializing and my youngest was hanging right with them. She didn’t need me to be within a few feet of her at all times. She didn’t get mad when her face got splashed. She was pretty independant and I only followed her to the bathroom to supervise.  A while ago this would have gotten me down, but  I unexpectedly really like this new aspect of my life.

I got to read a book. I got to lay in the sun. I got to sip water and eat tortilla chips without having kids drip all over me.  I kinda liked this new independent mommy.

So while I will always savor holding a baby, I have realized that being baby-free does have it’s rewards.  Who would have thought I would have ever said those words?

When we grew from a family with two kids to a family of four kids a couple of years ago, chores where a challenge that I couldn’t deal with at the time.  I had four kids with very different needs and abilities, but  did not have the time, patience or desire to create a chore system for each one of them. Remember that two of my girls didn’t know English and the youngest was only three.  Meg had been the only child who had a history with chore charts and allowances and such.

When it came time to start the chores again nothing seemed to work. It was either too elaborate (or time consuming) or to tempting to mess with (sticker charts are hard not to touch!).  Everything seemed to fail miserably and I was really needing the kids to start helping out around the house.

So I instated the House Elf System. It is simple, easy, non-stimulating and the kids understand what a house elf does.  They clean the house!  Our love of all things Harry Potter made us familiar with Dobby the house elf. The kids love Dobby, I love Dobby. It is hard not to love Dobby. Sooooooooo the kids get to be Free House Elf Dobby every fourth day.  It goes like this:

Kitchen Elf- Helps with dishes, cooking and  taking out trash/recycling

Laundry Elf – Helps sort, load and fold laundry (it depends on the age of the house elf that day)

Clutter/Table Elf – Goes around and arranges pillow and clears out the clutter that multiples and also sets and clears the kitchen table after meal.

Dobby – Gets to do no daily chores and is the first on the computer for the day.

The kitchen Elf gets the computer next (we have a timer for computer time) and so goes the rotation.  Every morning I rotate the names on the white board on my fridge.  On days we are gone all day, I do not rotate if they kids don’t have time for chores.

This system is simple and it works for us!  We have used it since last August when school starting.  After our trip to Disney, it took a while to get back into the rhythm, but it did come back eventually.  The whining is less, the system is clearly fair and my house-work is lightened a bit.  We do give a monetary allowance for helping our house run smoothly, but have  decided not to pay the kids over the summer as the summer camp costs and the pool pass cost us a pretty penny this year. They are amazingly okay with this (or maybe they are plotting to use an unforgivable curse on me?)

So why am I sharing this?  To say that I hope other mothers are not feeling bad about traditional chore systems  not working for them.  A sticker chart isn’t going to work for all of us, nor is the marble jar or point system ( all fine systems, but not for my girls).  This is okay!  Keep on trying until something works.

We have to stick with what works sometimes, even if it isn’t pretty or super creative.

Our July Plans...To Name A Few

I just made out our summer calendar last night.  It is a large desk calendar that I have made color-coded notes in so the girls (hopefully) won’t ask me every minute of every day what we are doing. I am all for preparing the girls and always have been, but our counselor has reminded us that having this written out makes Mita and Enu feel more secure. So a big calendar it is!

They each have their own color as Hubby and I do. I am green and Hubby got stuck with orange (ha ha). We carefully picked out the colors for the girls as Blue is all the rage and fighting would for sure ensue (parenting girls is a bit political as well as full of drama.).

As I filled out the various basketball and Girl Scout camps the girls are attending, as well as 4H meetings(Mita) and VBS I realized that we have about five full weeks of unplanned time this summer. Less than I had first thought, but still I am okay with this.

Last summer I over-planned, I realized that early in June, but had commitments I had to honor. This year I didn’t sign up to work at the Girl Scout day camp, nor are the girls going to day camp. I also didn’t sign them up for swim lessons as the girls are doing well with swimming and we can work on swimming a lot this summer as we got a pool pass this year. I also don’t have any Girl Scout plans for my troop and am helping out at VBS with pictures, not doing the story lesson which has more prep time. I feel really good about letting go on these things.  No guilt, in fact I may even cut down more next summer.

With all of that said, as moms we know how bored the kids get in the summer.  After a few days of sleeping in and goofing off they are reading to do something fun or at least  hang out with friends. So I am all for activities that are organized and teach them things (camps) as well as family memory makers (camping trips) and of course the  Summer Reading program that keeps us in the library and surrounded by lovely books.  I also have some fun things  up my sleeve like Summer Book Bingo and Summer Buckets that I promise to talk about in the future.

With all of these thoughts swirling through my head I look at my calendar and am feeling prepared and content.  Then Hubby says, “I never had anything structured in the summer until the sixth grade.”  What am I supposed to do with that? Does that make his summers better than our kids’ summers? I don’t think so at all. Free time and learning about basketball, piano and drama are all good.

Therefore I claim the summer of 2010 a well-planned summer NOT over-scheduled.  I guess I truely cannot say that until summer ends, but oh well I did it anyway!  What do you think about your summer plans of 2010?

Dear Children,

It doesn’t matter how old, or young, you may be.  It is never to early to learn one of the greatest secrets in life.

Do you want your parents to say “Yes” more often? Do you want to have more fun, less yelling and incredulous looks?  Read closely and I will tell you all you need to know…

Timing is everything.

That’s right. Timing.  It isn’t completing chores (though that does help), it isn’t saying please (though that does help), it isn’t even smiling and asking about your mom’s day (though that would bowl her over)  it is all about TIMING.

Some Examples:

You want to have a friend over to play.  Your Mom is in the bathroom with the door shut and your Dad is not home.  Which would you do?

A.  Knock on the door and ask to come in.

B. Open the door and walk right in asking the question and yelling at your sister at the same time.

C. Yell from downstairs and don’t stop yelling until Mom comes to you.

D.  Wait for your mom patiently to get out of the bathroom and make her bed while waiting.

You guessed it… D is the  answer.  Let your mom go to the bathroom alone.  She is more likely to say yes to you   Try it and see.

It is Friday afternoon.  School is out for two days and all you want to do it relax and play.  You know you have to bring some stuff to school on Monday that you need help from your parent with.

A. You get in the car after school and tell your mom everything you need before saying hello (and while your three sisters are doing the same thing).

B. You decide to wait and tell her on Sunday night at 10pm when you should be in bed asleep already.

C.  Monday morning rolls around and your Mom tells you to get into the car for school.  After she is buckled and the door is locked you tell her that you need a few things.

D.   You get home after school and help your mom get the after school snacks ready while asking her to help you with your projects.

D is it again!  Mom’s like help.  Mom’s like to have notice. Remember these things and she will say yes more!

Your parents do not want to say no all the time. This may be hard to believe, but most Moms and Dads want to help their children, spend time with them and in general, make them happy.  Stress gets in the way of saying yes.  If you find out what times are less stressful on your parents, they will say yes more. 

Last example:

Your mom is cooking dinner, going through you and your sister’s back packs, packing lunches fo the next day and organizing the next Girl Scout meeting on the phone.  Your dad is working on the flower beds and you want to shave your legs for the first time.

A. You got into the kitchen and stand three inches away from your mom and follow her around until she puts down the fun and yells “What do you need?!”

B.  You go outside and tell your Dad that Mom is busy and you need to shave, is it okay with him.

C. You see your mom is busy and decide to shave first and ask later.  Later then becomes sooner, since you are hemoraging all over the carpet on your way back downstairs to ask Mom where the bandaids are and how much blood can you loose before passing out.

D.  You don’t ask and wait until you actually have some hair on your legs to shave.

D is again the best answer!  Sorry my dear!

This advice is FREE. Please use it. Frequently. 

Sincerely,

Your Mother

Photo Credit