For my second book on the Adoption Reading Challenge I choose Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide by Suzanne Buckingham Slade. This book is apart of the It Happened to Me series for teens. As my girls are getting older I have found myself looking for books they may need/enjoy as they age. It is very scary, by the way, to watch your kids growing up so fast that they will soon be entering the teen world.
I tried to come to this book as a teenager would. Full of questions of my adoption, maybe some anger and hurt. I cannot, of course, ever know how it feels to be adopted, but I hope that three years into being an adoptive mom I have discovered some insight and wisdom on the subject.
There are several true stories, quotes and heartfelt tales that could be helpful to read weither you are an adoptee or adoptive parent. The book validates teens questions and feelings as normal and productive. There are also several resources noted for further help and therapy is suggested wisely to the teen who is struggling.
Chapters on international adoption, older child adoption and trans-racial adoption have good information and I would encouraged my girls to read those chapters as most of the chapters are not relevant to our story. Most of the book refers to children who were adopted at or near birth.
A line in the books mentions that birth mothers get extensive therapy before the adoption. Unfortunately this is untrue for most adoptions, even in our modern world of adoption professionals. Also a quote at the beginning just scream wrong at me:
“Our children need the benefits that a two-parent home can give. Birth parents can place their child for adoption and go on to live happy, fulfilled lives.”
Ruth A. Mark Adoption Resource Services
I find it wrong to suggest that all adoptive homes are two-parent homes and would be more stable than a single parent home. We know that adoptive parents are not perfect and they do get divorced and have the same problems that all families have. Also suggesting that birth parents can simply place their child and go on to be happy appears very flippant to birth parents. Relinqishment is not a easy thing to “go on” from.
It is my hope that this book will get a major editing job soon and then again in another decade or so. I say this because it needs to be updated now with new pictures and format and it lacks current subjects such as ”friending your birth mom on Facebook”. An update in a decade would be great as I hope that open adoptions will be the normal and they will not have to focus so much on finding your birthparent or wondering about your heritage.
I gave this book 2 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.com and feel it is an okay read for adopted families, but not the only book they should rely on.
(Disclosure: I checked the above book out at the library and did not recieve any compensation for the review, nor was I asked to review it.)
Uh, ick. :(