If you would have asked me a two years ago what brought me joy the answer may have been something like “Hearing my kids laugh.” “Getting a surprise hug or kiss from my husband.” Maybe I would have even come up with a “The silence of nature” comment!
Now. Joy comes to me in smaller, more minute ways.
Having a spontaneous touch from my ten year old adopted daughter was shear joy. She patted me on the back in passing. She didn’t want anything. She wasn’t complaining about something. She wasn’t mad. She touched me. Joy.
Watching my eight year old adopted daughter let her guard down enough to relax is joy. Her life has been so up and down she is on constant over-load. Every once in a while she relaxes. Joy.
Watching my ten year old homegrown daughter lay on the floor beside her sister, who is having a fit and saying really mean things. Patting her back. Whispering it is okay. Joy.
Watching my five year old homegrown daughter run and play and love on all of her sisters, not noticing a difference in skin color, not realizing that once it was just her and Meg. Just living her life without pause. Joy.
Joy isn’t being happy. Joy isn’t jumping up and down. Joy is pure relief, greatfullness and a bit of bittersweet in the mix.
I’ve got joy. Not every day mind you. Not even every month, but when it happens it is enough to get me through the hard times. It is a true gift from God.
I don’t write the words adopted or homegrown normally when talking about my kids. My kids are my kids, but older child adoption is a challenge and I felt this post needed those distinctions. This post was written as a part of a contest, see below, but I am so glad I wrote it. I needed to take this out of my head and put it in words.
“This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.”
I wish you much joy!!!
Love this post! Especially your definition of joy! Insightful and heart felt!
I’m glad you wrote the little bit at the end. I’m an adoptive mama too and it’s not often I say “adopted” or “biological” unless I need too :)
Beautiful post!
So true, it’s the simple things in life that often bring us the most joy.
Wow. I am glad you get to be their mama. All kids are so special and wonderful. Kids bring joy always in so many ways. I am glad you can find joy in your home often!
I love this line: “Joy isn’t being happy. Joy isn’t jumping up and down. Joy is pure relief, greatfullness and a bit of bittersweet in the mix.” I feel the exact same way.