Adopt-A-Child Programs
Tis the season for all things Holiday. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Elle’s Birthday… a busy time for all of us. It is also a season that people try to give to those less fortunate than ourselves. I respect this and try and teach my children that this season is about more than what Santa is bringing us for Christmas.
It is also a time when the words “Adopt-A-Child” or “Adopt-A-Family” get used a lot. We have grown up with this terminology and see it everywhere. Zoo’s have “Adopt-An-Animal” program as well as animal shelters having “Adopt-A-Pet” program. These programs are really great programs with altruistic love in them that I admire, respect and have donated to for years. I would love to see the wording changed though.
I am not being “Politically Correct” and trying to change termanology for the sake of changing it. I am an adoptive mom who looks into the eyes of my children when they hear the words ,”Adopt-A-Child”. They don’t quite understand it and are not sure how it may effect them. In church yesterday as they were promoting church members helping local families by adopting a child, Mita looked over at me and asked,”What are they talking about adoption for?”. I told her I would explain after church and that it was not like our adoptive family. She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was confused.
One may think, just explain it to the girl and be done with it. It is so much more than a simple explanation though. Our Ethiopian girls have been with us for over a year and a half. We are a family like any other, just with different issues than some may have. Two of my girls have felt a loss to deep, so primal that to feel secure is very difficult. Just the other day I had to explain that we were not a foster family and that adoption is permanent. They still have fears of abandonment that a few months of hugs and kisses are not going to heal.
When Adopt-A-Kid programs promote adoption as a limited time investment of a few bucks or a few gifts , it sends the wrong message to children who are going through the process of understanding adoption, forever families and commitment. Adopt-A-Kid programs are a temperary program to help children going through a hard time during the holidays. An Adoptive family is a permanent situation that can be incredibly difficult and a take a lot of effort. There is a big difference between sponsoring and parenting a child.
So please, in the future when you hear the words “Adopt-A-Something” remember to substitute the word sponsor. We can do this for my girls’ understanding and feelings and for all the other children out there in forever homes or still needing families.
Thanks!
Photo Credit Mandy W. 2009
